HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE IN A RAPPORT? AS YOU LOOK AROUND IN RESTAURANTS, OFFICES, ANY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE MEET AND TALK, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHICH PEOPLE HAVE RAPPORT AND WHICH DO NOT? TRUE RAPPORT IS BASED ON AN INSTINCTIVE SENSE OF TRUST AND INTEGRITY.
WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE IN RAPPORT THEIR BODIES AS WELL AS THEIR WORDS MATCH EACH OTHER. WHAT WE SAY CAN CREATE OR DESTROY RAPPORT, BUT THAT IS ONLY 7% OF THE COMMUNICATION. BODY LANGUAGE AND TONALITY ARE MORE IMPORTANT. HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF ENJOYING A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEBODY AND NOTICING THAT BOTH YOUR BODIES HAVE ADOPTED THE SAME POSTURE? THE DEEPER THAT RAPPORT, THE CLOSER THE MATCH WILL TEND TO BE.
SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE CREATE RAPPORT, AND RAPPORT CREATES TRUST. YOU CAN CREATE RAPPORT WITH WHOEVER YOU WISH. BY MATCHING AND MIRRORING BODY LANGUAGE AND TONALITY YOU CAN VERY QUICKLY GAIN RAPPORT WITH ALMOST ANYONE. MATCHING EYE CONTACT IS AN OBVIOUS RAPPORT SKILL.
TO CREATE THE RAPPORT JOIN THE OTHER PERSON'S DANCE BY MATCHING THEIR BODY LANGUAGE SENSITIVELY AND WITH RESPECT. MATCHING IS NOT MIMICRY, WHICH IS NOTICEABLE, EXAGGERATED AND INDISCRIMINATE COPYING OF ANOTHER PERSON'S MOVEMENTS, AND IS USUALLY CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE. YOU CAN MATCH OUR MOVEMENTS BY SMALL HAND MOVEMENTS, BODY MOVEMENTS BY YOUR HEAD MOVEMENTS. THIS IS CALLED" CROSSOVER MIRRORING".
MATCHING BREATHING IS A VERY POWERFUL WAY OF GAINING RAPPORT STOP YOU MAY ALREADY OF THEM HAVE OBSERVED THAT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE IN DEEP RAPPORT THEY BREATHE IN UNISON. THESE ARE THE BASIC ELEMENTS OF ALL. NOTICE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MIRROR OTHERS. THEN NOTICE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STOP.
NOTICE ESPECIALLY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MISMATCH. MISMATCHING IS A VERY USEFUL SKILL. THE MOST ELEGANT WAY TO RENDER CONVERSATION IS TO DISENGAGE FROM THE DANCE.
VOICE MATCHING IS ANOTHER WAY YOU CAN GAIN THE RAPPORT. YOU CAN MATCH TONALITY, SPEED, VOLUME AND RHYTHM OF SPEECH. YOU CAN USE VOICE MATCHING TO GAIN RAPPORT IN A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION. THEN YOU CAN ALSO MISMATCH, CHANGING THE SPEED AND TONALITY OF YOUR VOICE TO END THE CONVERSATION. THERE ARE ONLY TWO LIMITS TO YOUR ABILITY TO GAIN REPORT: THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTURES, GESTURES AND SPEECH PATTERNS, AND THE SKILL WITH WHICH YOU CAN MATCH THEM IN THE DANCE OF RAPPORT.
REPRODUCED WITH KIND PERMISSION FROM "INTRODUCING NEURO- LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING" BY JOSEPH O'CONNOR AND JOHN SEYMOUR. FOR NLP TRAINING JOHN SEYMOUR CAN BE REACHED AT JSNLP.CO.UK
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Reference: pickup-girls-advices.blogspot.com
