Archive for January 2015

Paranormal More About Past Lives

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Paranormal More About Past Lives


By Stephen Ellis


Nobody asked me, but...

A very interesting e-mail was received from a lady called "Silk". It concerned her daughter who, when her daughter was far too young to understand what she was saying, her daughter talked about her "before" mommy": a woman who had been her mommy many years before she was born to Silk. The very young child described where she was living, what life was like, etc...all before she was born. If you have any interest in "past lives" I strongly recommend you read the blog at

I have had some brief correspondence with "Silk" in the past. She impressed me as a completely honest person and an excellent writer. I do not believe anyone can read this blog without seriously questioning whether or not we have lived before...and will live again.

The concept of past lives is not a new one to my blog nor to my paranormal research.

A few months ago I wrote about a girl I hypnotized (she was about 17 years old at the time) at a party. Having been a recent reader of "The Search for Bridey Murphy" (detailed in another of my blogs), I thought I would try to regress her to a previous life. Hypnotists often regress their subjects back to their second or third birthday party and almost always get the names of the other children who attended, the presents they received, etc. Occasionally I would regress an older person back to their first grade in school and get them to talk about and describe their teacher and classmates..As a hypnotist, I have always felt that these events are stored in our computer-like brains and that hypnosis helps to bring these memories forward. One of the amazing characteristics of doing this is how the subject's voice raises in pitch and tries to emulate a child's voice often having difficulty pronouncing words as a young child may do.

Prior to this party, however, I had never tried to regress someone's memory to a time before they were born. I was a little apprehensive and a little excited to see what would happen. As I regressed her back into her mother's womb, the girl immediately assumed a fetal position with her arms wrapped around her legs. Then, as I regressed her further, she changed her position to that of an adult and smiled. In a voice quite unlike the one she had been speaking in earlier, she started speaking French!

She not only started speaking French (which I recognize from the few French phrases I know and that unmistakable French accent), but spoke it with such rapidity and fluency as to be quite proficient in the language. Fortunately, there was a woman at the party who said she spoke French fluently, but when I asked her to translate what the girl was saying, the woman told me there were too many words she did not understand because they were in an archaic form. Words that may have been used hundreds of years ago, but were no longer in common usage.

I carefully brought the girl forward to the present day and awakened her. She did not know what I was talking about when I asked where she learned to speak French. She was still in high school and the language she had been studying in school was Spanish!. Neither of her parents were French, nor had she, or her parents, ever been to France or any French-speaking countries...and she had no French-speaking friends or relatives. The young man that had brought her to the party became very nervous and upset and took her home. Unfortunately, I was never able to contact her to repeat the experiment or delve further into the situation. I did try the same experiment on a couple of other people, but got absolutely nowhere.

Of course, there was the classical case of Bridey Murphy where, under hypnosis a 100%American young woman from Madison, Wisconsin suddenly became an old Irish woman describing, in detail, where she lived near Cork, Ireland; what her house was like in Ireland, who her husband was...and even of witnessing her own funeral. Of course, the woman had never been to Ireland. If you haven't read my blog about Bridey Murphy, I suggest you do. I believe you will find it fascinating.

Past lives being revealed are not a new thing. There have been thousands of cases that appear to be strongly documented. I don't mean to be repetitious, but there will never be...can never be...the kind of scientific proof concerning past lives that I would like to see. How does someone prove what a life was like a hundred or two hundred years ago? How does one prove what the furnishings in a home were like when the home was destroyed hundreds of years ago? How does one prove that the language a person is speaking is the correct version of a language that became obsolete hundreds of years ago?

Of course it is difficult to know how a child of three or four could know about having to go outside to the yard to pump water to bring back into the house...or how people spoke and dressed hundreds of years ago...or how it is that she had to go to the "waiting place" before she was selected to be re-born. I'll grant you that some children are precocious, but I believe memories of this kind go far beyond just being precocious and are "cracks" in the walls between different dimensions that allow some things to slip through. As my own research has shown, these "cracks" usually close quickly.

If we read the original writings of Thomas Paine or Benjamin Franklin, we would have an extremely difficult time understanding it...language changes, meanings of words change. Situations and circumstances that may be referred to and gave certain words particular meanings have changed. It is not surprising when someone, in describing a past life, uses words and phrases we no longer understand.

As I have often said. If you do not believe something, no amount of proof will convince you. If you do believe something, no proof is necessary.

Explaining the "how" and "why" of past lives is one of the things I will go over many times in my blog. If any of my readers have had similar experiences, I will really appreciate you writing to me directly at

As I said...nobody asked me.

How To Talk To Girls At Parties Ehow

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How To Talk To Girls At Parties Ehow
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Define Your Relationship Take Time Dont Push

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Define Your Relationship Take Time Dont Push

Get back with your ex

When you meet that one person in the world meant for you and the two of you start a relationship, the best thing you should do first is to define the relationship. Some would say that you should not put much energy into a relationship right at the start, you should just go with the flow but, if the relationship is to be a successful one you should shape it and mold it right from the start. That way you can see early on out what kind of a relationship it is and what kind it is going to be.

Successful relationships do not just happen. They are successful because they are built on several key factors. Mutual respect is a very important factor. Mutual respect for each other tends to lead to trust which is also so important in a relationship. Love is fickle but if you have the love, respect and trust you are on your way to having a successful relationship. Relationships that have all these things just make it look easy.

Another way to help define your relationship is to get to know each other so well that you know how the other will react to any given situation at any given moment. Remember the old Newlywed Game? I always liked that show because you could really tell the couples who knew each other and the ones who had a lot of work to do to get to know each other. I would get a really good feeling about the ones who answered all their questions correctly, you just knew they had a good foundation.

Click to get your ex back

Knowing what the other is thinking doesn't necessarily mean you have good communication skills. Although it does help, good communication skills take some time and effort to acquire. You are not just born with them. Having and using effective communication skills means you are able to take the other person's feelings and opinions into consideration without getting angry and lashing out.

Being able to make small decisions well makes it easier when having to make the bigger decisions down the road. A truly good relationship will start with how good each individual is. I don't mean good versus bad, I mean how mature, responsible, good communication skills. If each person brings those attributes to the relationship then the overall relationship will be better more often than not.

You hear all the time that good relationships are made up of good communication skills, but what the heck does that mean? Does it mean you know how to talk circles around your partner? No, of course not. It means that you can listen to each other with respect, you don't jump on every little thing that they say and that you learn how to accurately communicate your point without belittling your partner. Learn to do that and the two of you are on your way to having a good relationship.

We are definitely a society that needs for things to be spelled out and defined. It just seems to make people more comfortable when things are very clearly spelled out. when it comes to your relationship it's important to make sure that you each know what you want and what you don't want, figuring that out is how you best define your relationship.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce


Tact And Diplomacy In Relationships And Marriage What To Do When She Gains A Few Pounds

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Summer is here, and many of us still have that inconvenient layer of winter fat and we're now wondering how many extra trips to the gym it will take to get rid of it. And it's not just winter fat, either. Stress, pregnancy, etc., can put a major whammy on women, who are especially troubled right now because bikini season is here! What do you do when she gains a few pounds? Inquiring minds want to know, at least if they ever hope enjoy being married again...

That's right, it's past time to shed that winter insulation and get into bikinis, volleyball, backyard barbecues, and all those other fun activities that require baring skin, and exposing your jelly belly if you picked one up through the winter. Here's a typical letter about this most common problem, and a very sticky one to say the least. Meet Tia:

Dear David,

I need your help. The past few months I have put on a few extra pounds due to a medication that I have to take for my asthma. Everybody tells me that they don't notice it and I look good, but to me I feel like the Goodyear blimp and have no desire to be intimate with my husband at all because I'm embarrassed over having curves in places that were flat. The more he tries to tell me I look sexy the more his advances just make me feel pressured, and I hate feeling under pressure this way. It has nothing to do with not loving him or not wanting to enjoy each other the way we always have. We have always been very in touch with each other and being together in the bed was always one of the best parts.

I was hoping you could give me some advice as to how I could bring this up with him. I want him to understand just how awful I feel I look and how it has nothing to do with him at this point.

Thank you,


"Tia, I'm going to make this really easy for you, because it's such a great question. Just print this and let him read it, because I'm going to tell him and all the other men about this. He won't know it's you unless you tell him because I've changed the name to protect your privacy."

Get ready guys! Pay close attention, take notes, and make sure you fully understand what you're about to read. This is some of the most critical information to ever appear in this newsletter and you need to get this down pat and cold, right now, because sooner or later, virtually EVERY woman will experience a bit of weight gain that makes her uncomfortable with her appearance, and consequently, with YOU.

If you've read "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," you know about the difference in the male and female brain structure. Aside from making our communications styles and methods grossly different, it also makes women visualize, emotionalize and even dramatize to the extreme compared to males.

You also must remember that nearly all of the advertising in the fashion and beauty industries is designed to prey upon a woman's sense of competitiveness to make her feel insecure about her appearance. Women are literally bombarded with this crap everywhere they look, and while you or I probably wouldn't even notice a little weight gain until we had to loosen our belt a notch or sew a button back on our trousers that had popped off, to them a pound or two can be nearly or wholly traumatic, especially if they've taken pride in a flat stomach for a long time.

We often respond to this by telling them that they look "fine, sexy, hot," etc., and that is precisely the wrong thing to do. Why?

She knows what she sees in the mirror, and thinks that you see what she sees in the mirror. If she thinks she looks fat and you say she looks sexy, all that says to her is that either you're lying or your standards are really, really low. Don't go there, even if you really think she looks better with a couple of extra pounds because you like the curves, and whatever you do, DON'T tell her you like the new curves! That can get you killed, because in her ears, that's, "But honey, I like you better when you're fat like this." (Ladies, you are cordially invited to write in and tell the men just that - I'll reprint your letters so the men will know just how serious an issue this is.)


You'd already know this, too, if you had read "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," because you wouldn't be making those kinds of advances and doing really stupid things like asking her to have sex with you. You'd be tripping her attraction triggers with alpha male behavior, naughty talk and gestures, and making her have fun and get so hot that she doesn't concern herself with her additional weight because she'd still feel sexy and desirable, and she'd be coming after YOU! (See Jay's letter in the archive for an example, because he's got it down cold.)

When you know what a woman wants, what makes her tick, how to both listen and talk to her, and how to have fun with her, she doesn't feel like a middle-aged housewife that can't compete with the 20-somethings anymore. She feels like a real queen who rules the world at your side by day and a red hot vixen by night, keeping that naughty little secret for you and you alone because you create it for her. There's a time and place, not to mention a right way and a wrong way, for everything, and that includes delivering genuine, honest compliments.

That, Gentlemen, is how a real man makes a real woman feel, and that is what you learn when you read "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." So how many more times are you going to have to stick your foot in your mouth and spend the night in the doghouse before you go to and download your copy? Go now, and get it done, because there are far better things to do with your feet (and your mouth!).

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!

David Cunningham"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham

The Truth About Free Dating Sites

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The Truth About Free Dating Sites
Free dating sites are undoubtedly very lucrative today. The industry is fast expanding as well, as many brand new companies who offer the same services get introduced every so often. Some of the sites that have been around for a while have become stronger, have offered new features and have expanded their possibilities. At the same time, new companies have become more advanced to be able to compete with the big sites and veterans in the industry.

Online dating services have grown in the recent years primarily because newer companies, in hopes of attracting more customers to choose their site, now offer free memberships. They offer similar services, though most do not offer as much features as that of paid sites. However, the services of these free sites are usually comparable to that of paid sites. Considering that they are free, they may be worth trying out.

With all the tight competition coming from big companies, you might probably wonder how free dating sites will be able to persist in this industry. You may wonder how they are able to manage to stay profitable. Since their services are free, people oftentimes wonder if there is a catch once they join. The good news is that most sites do offer good services for free. If you choose well, that is.

Conversely, free dating sites offer a different appeal to many people. People who have not tried online dating before and who are apprehensive about trying them out now have means to try it out risk-free. If you are not sure whether Internet dating is right for you, you can simply sign up in one of these free sites and try it out for yourself.

Most of those who are newbies in online dating are hesitant to give out their personal information, more so their credit card numbers, most especially to online companies which are not established or known. This is quite understandable considering how there are a lot of scam-filled sites today. For this reason, many new users resort to free dating sites instead. This way, you will be able to comfortably sign up knowing that your critical personal information do not have to be revealed nor registered.

Now moving on to the other side of the equation, how can free sites become profitable if they do not charge any fees? Well, these sites usually bank on the idea that since their site is free, more and more members will be willing to sign up with them. The more members they have, the more traffic they get, making them more appealing to advertisers. It is through advertising that they get most of their income.

Needless to say, this strategy can prove advantageous especially for smaller free dating sites who would like to start small and make their own imprint in this bid industry. It also benefits many online users who would like to try out online dating without the risks associated with it. This is basically a win win situation for both parties.

Related Posts

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Home Wreckers Part 2

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Home Wreckers Part 2
When I wrote the original "Home Wreckers" article, I didn't expect such a wide range of perspectives. There were strong and emotionally drained women who shared their thoughts on the topic. I even had a dude chime in. There were also some unnecessary bickering among them over what's right, what's wrong, and what's logical. So I figured it's time for me to address all the views that were expressed in the comments on the original post.

My original intention in writing the article was to express what I've learned from my experience in such situations, which I conveniently called being the "home wrecker". A more suitable label is probably "Inconsiderate Person", "Selfish Individual", or "Non Empathetic Human". But somehow that term "Home Wrecker" is more to the point on the damage that is triggered by such behavior. I use the label only as a term to identify the situation, not to judge. Most of us use it to describe a person who knowingly pursues (romantically or sexually) someone who is in a committed relationship. But it's too hard to say "lookit's that inconsiderate-person-who-knowingly-pursues-someone-who-is-in-a-committed-relationship bitch". Yup, that good ol' term "home wrecker" just does it much more efficiently for most of us.

Although my original post was about the woman who is a home wrecker, I realize that there are male home wreckers as well (one of which has triggered the breakdown of my own marriage). But this blog is mostly about helping the female find perspective in life, so I address most of my articles to them.

In the home wrecking scene, there are 3 main players: the home wrecker, the cheater or potential cheater, and the person committed to the cheater or potential cheater. This is my quick assessment of the situation: ALL THREE PLAYERS PLAY EQUAL PARTS IN MAKING THE HOME WRECKING SCENE. This is just my opinion, and I feel qualified in making such a statement after having played all three roles in my life. I realize that this might not be a popular point of view, considering the amount of blame that was going back and forth on the comments. But remember, this is just my perspective for the purpose of giving you perspective.

The feedback on the previous article has revealed to me the extent of psychological damage a home wrecker can trigger. Many of the readers expressed their anguish and hurt. A couple of them went so far as to write into their comments specific names of people who have hurt them. To those ladies, I know it really sucks to be on that end of the situation, but I want you realize that your focus should be on your recovery, not on those who triggered the hurt. It's probably not the best of time for me to tell you that you played an equal part in your hurt, but hear me out. I'm not here to judge anyone or tell anyone they're wrong or lay any blame. My whole blog is dedicated to giving you, the hurt female, a different way of looking at things so you can move on from your hurt and find joy in things. The other two players have hurt you deeply, and in a way that you can't logically explain. You don't have to explain yourself. Go ahead and process the hurt because you deserve your time to heal. But somewhere in the back of your mind, just tuck away the idea that no one can truly hurt you except yourself (physical harm of course being the exception). We go through life thinking that we deserve honesty and respect, especially from those we are intimate with. But when we are treated with clear disrespect for our boundaries, we become frustrated and threatened of losing what we thought we deserved. Our focus then turns to blame because we aren't ready to turn inward to process the hurt. And that's OK. When you're ready, and only when you're ready, take a good look at your own life and how it led up to the home wrecking scene. Look at your choice in partners, look at the company you keep, look at the boundaries you've set, look at the lessons learned from previous relationships, look at where you've been, and finallylook at where you want to be. It's all part of figuring out who you are. I know I say this a lot on my posts, but you'll have to trust me on thisonce you've figured that all out or at least come close to it, you will never find yourself in a home wrecking scene again. You're in more control of the situation than you think. Remember that you can't feel threatened if you're with someone who gives you no reason to feel threatened. Trust your gut and figure out why you're threatened.

I didn't have anyone claim that they were the cheater or potential cheater, but I have some words for you guys that might help the other two players understand you a bit more. In most cases, it's not a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it. It's a matter of not being fulfilled in life. You are clearly confused about what you want. On one hand, you want a committed relationship. And on the other hand, you want something that violates that committed relationship. If you don't want a committed relationship, don't lie to others saying that you do. And for Pete sakes, don't lie to yourself because you're only going to burden yourself with guilt and confusion. It's OK to admit you may have made a mistake in making a commitment. It's OK to seek help if you think you've got a wandering eye. Realize one thing. Unless what your partner wants is a confused, sniveling cheat, you are not doing anyone any favors by keeping things hush hush, especially your going ons with the home wrecker. It really doesn't matter if you haven't had sex with the home wrecker. Do you or don't you want a committed relationship? If the answer is yes, then tell the home wrecker to f**k off. It's that simple. I don't care if she boosts your ego. I don't care if you get along superbly with her. Let it goand do the mature thing for all. You're not fooling anyone by saying "She's just a friend" You suck and you know it. Your partner is asking for respect for the relationship, and you're not giving that to her by presenting this threat to her. Even if you have no intention of cheatingeven if it's illogical that your partner should feel any threat by your "friendship".you need to consider your partner's feelings. Part of a committed relationship is to be considerate of your partner's feelings. Is your "friend" really more important than honoring your relationship? Once you've decided that you've found the person you want to commit to, you need to make room for the process of finding joy in that relationship. Your commitment can bring you the long term joy that you will never find in the quick ego boosts, so stick with it. If you have your doubts about having made the right choice, then you better take a really hard look at that. Let go of the committed relationship if that's not the right person for you. Reallydon't force a square peg into a round hole. It's also HIGHLY unlikely that the home wrecker is the one for you, because both of you are unstable. Of course, if you know you're not confused and you know you just want to manipulate everyone to get what you want, then you're a jerk so get lost. There's nothing that any of us here can do for you.

Then there's the final player: the home wrecker. One lady proclaimed she was a home wrecker, but was not at all remorseful of it. She saw absolutely nothing wrong in pursuing men in committed relationships, and actually found it to be sort of a sport. Well that one nearly knocked me off my chair. I didn't expect that. Although I don't agree with her that there is nothing wrong with her "sport", she did have a good point that the relationships that she can damage are caused by the the weaknesses in those relationships. But of course she is the exception to the general role of a home wrecker. As I mentioned in my previous post, the home wrecker usually doesn't realize she's a home wrecker. She just thinks she's in love and can't stop thinking about him. To those ladies, here are my words of perspective. Love yourself first and foremost. The love you think you'll find in a man who is committed to someone else is not love for yourself. It's escaping the hard fact that you aren't happy with your own life. Maybe you love the commitment he has for his partner, and maybe you want some of that for yourself. Maybe you are looking to see if you can get him to jump when you say jump for a quick ego boost. Maybe you love the secret rendezvous that makes you feel really special. It's all smoke and mirrors. He's either a jerk, or a very confused man, and you don't want any of that if you want to have a healthy view of yourself. You're not special to him. He is not treating you with the respect you think you're getting from him. You're just a crutch for the disabilities of his committed relationship. You don't see it now, because you're in the midst of it. But try stepping away from it to clear your head. Momentum in the wrong direction can always be reversed if you just stop to seek direction. Please please please leave it. Have some dignity and respect the protocol of a committed relationship. The sooner you give respect to the committed relationship, the sooner you'll find yourself in one.

Everyone is finding their way in life. All three players of the home wrecking scene are looking for their answers, and they happened to have crossed each other's path in a time when they don't know their way. Some will find their way, others will remain stuck in their patterns. No one owes anyone anything, and yet we all have to live with each other in the universe. Let's all realize the connection of everything and work with the flow instead of forcing things to work together. I may be right or I may be wrong in what I have just told you, but just chew on what I said for a little. Here's what really counts, that you see there is more to life than just your perspective. Blaming is a mask for your own confusion.

Past Life Decision Therapy By Susan Barber

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Past Life Decision Therapy By Susan Barber

This is excerpted from:

Past-Life Decision Therapy by Susan Barber

"Have we lived before?

When people in hypnosis seem to remember past lives, are they deluding themselves?

And here's another question nobody is asking:

Does it really matter?

Here are some stories to help understand how reincarnational memory can help us in this life - whether it's real or not!...

Reincarnational Memory: Is It 'Real'?

... people who come to a hypnotherapist for past-life regression do not necessarily believe in reincarnation.

If you are on the borderline with this concept, or if you have friends who perhaps scoff at your interest in past lives, there is another way of looking at the subject that makes perfect sense, even to the most devout believer in a mechanical universe.

As a hypnotist for nearly 30 years, and a member of many professional organizations during this time, I have never personally run across or even heard of a client - mine or anyone else's - who could not come up with an appropriate 'costume drama' when asked to go to the past-life source of some current situation.

The dramas that arise... are totally, awesomely, amazingly apt. They are like icons on our desktop that, when clicked, burst into a full audio-video presentation of a huge and complex program.And when people access these programs and 'debug' what went wrong - change the coding, in other words - they invariably experience almost miraculous transformations in their lives.

What If I'm Just Imagining This?

This question comes up for many people in doing past-life regressions:

Is this real?

Did I really live 'before'?

Did this experience I just had in hypnosis really happen?

My answer is always the same:

Who cares?

What if it's not real (whatever 'real' means)?

What if, purposely or not, everybody simply makes up these incredibly detailed past-life stories, these thrilling costume dramas.

What matters is that these stories always explain, with absolute perfection, the psychological underpinnings of current emotional problems and life patterns - and enable us to release them.

Consider this:

How do we know that our past memories of this life are real?

What if something totally awful happened to us when we were four years old, and all the people involved in it are dead except ourselves. Did it 'really' happen? We can't prove that it did. Perhaps we just imagined it.

And consider this: What is 'imagination,' anyway? It's a word we use a lot, but what does it really mean? No one has ever answered this question to anyone else's satisfaction.

I think it's enough to know that everybody has these costume dramas in their heads, and that by examining and changing the programming contained within them, we can 'debug' what's not working in our lives. That much is most definitely 'real.'

In a computer program, when the coding arrives at a 'choice point' in processing, various criteria are used to make a 'decision' as to which subroutine the program will now use to continue processing.

The two stories that follow illustrate how decisions in past-life circumstances have created choice points in present programming - and how we can change them. They illustrate that reincarnation is a living, working idea, not just a theory that makes no difference in our lives.

Reprogramming Past-Life Decisions: Two Cases

Case No. 1: The Man Who Hated Women

When I was studying hypnotherapy in school, our teacher, John Kappas, did not believe that past-life regression had any therapeutic value. It was something we did for fun, because it was fascinating. But we were not to take it seriously.

Meanwhile, Dr. Kappas was working with a client who had come into therapy in order to release an illogical hatred of women. Weeks and weeks of positive post-hypnotic suggestions were having no effect. The man still felt an unreasoned hatred for women. Then Dr. Kappas began regressing him, first year by year, then month by month, trying to find some trauma, some incident that could explain the man's attitude. Nothing.

Not knowing what else to do, Dr. Kappas began regressing his client 'beyond birth.' They went back one life at a time. And in each one, the man hated women! Finally, Dr. Kappas simply told the man, 'Go to a period of time immediately preceeding the beginning of your hatred of women.' And without further ado, the man went directly to a lifetime as a slave during the Roman Empire.... So this slave gave himself a 'survival suggestion' to fill himself with overwhelming antipathy toward all women. And because it was related to his own survival, and accompanied by such strong emotions, this suggestion had followed him through all his lifetimes ever since.

Dr. Kappas then asked the man, in hypnosis,

'Do you still need this suggestion?' No.

'Would you like to have a new suggestion now?' Yes.

So together they searched for a new way of looking at love and hatred and men and women, a way of looking that the man in his current lifetime could accept, opening him up to harmony, love, and compassion for the opposite sex.

When they were both satisfied, Dr. Kappas gave the suggestion that from now on this new way of looking would replace the man's previous decision to hate women.

Further, Dr. Kappas suggested to him in hypnosis that all memory of that past life and its horrors would disappear. Nothing that happened in that lifetime would ever affect this man again, he suggested, except for whatever positive learnings had been gained.

And that was that. After going through the hypnotic 'awakening' ritual, the man had no memory of the session. And he no longer had negative feelings toward women.

(His wife was ecstatic.)

Case No. 2: The Witch Who Wasn't

My own introduction to reincarnational therapy began early one Monday morning in 1978, when my student Claudia (not her real name) made an emergency appointment to visit my office....

... we used hypnosis, and I asked Claudia to 'Go to the point immediately preceeding this feeling of being closed in and not belonging here.' I was expecting to find a childhood trauma. I'd never before done reincarnational regression in a therapeutic setting, and hadn't intended to do so this time.

But Claudia went straight to a scenario in Salem during the time of the witchcraft trials....

Unmaking that decision was pretty easy, and having done so, Claudia's fear and dissociation came to an immediate end.... The most remarkable thing about this story is that, after the past-life decision was rescinded and Claudia stopped dissociating, she never had another episode.

How Decisions Create Problems

In order to live in the spirit of Oneness, we need to rise above polarity, 'me versus thee, us versus them, man versus the elements.' But in order to have a world, polarity is required!

Polarity is simply a limitation that is applied, at first by choice, to that which is in its essential nature limitless. So how, then, can we resolve this seeming paradox.We do this by being 'in' but not 'of' the polarized situation. And we actually do this every day, in some way or another.

For example, when reading a book, we can immerse ourselves in the characters and feel what they feel, live what they live, experience the beauty or terror or whatever the characters are going through. But we can also set the book down and go on with our lives. We can get 'into' the book without being 'of' it. We can thoroughly enjoy Wuthering Heights without seeing Heathcliff in every man we meet.

Another instance in which we experience harmless polarity in daily life is in the games we play. A golf course, for example, without the 'rules of golf,' is just acres and acres of beautiful real estate. There is no universal rule that we must bring our golf clubs along when all we want to do is walk the course's verdant hills and fairways. But when we want the rules to be there, we can accept them. So in one reality - one set of polarities - we can pick up that little white ball and drop it into the hole if that's where we want it to be. And in another reality - totally by choice - we have to hit it with a golf club. If we touch it, we will be accused of cheating and no one will play with us.

In both cases - the book and the game - there are two realities side by side. The limitations, or polarities, of one do not necessarily apply to the other. And we can be 'in but not of' either one of them, if we see that this choice exists.Sometimes actors get caught up in their roles. They accept the polarities defined by the drama, and no longer relate to the wider context of their own lives. But no matter how caught up an actor may be in playing Hamlet, if the theater starts to burn down in the middle of a performance he has no trouble stepping 'out of character.'

Yet here in physical reality, most of us have forgotten the larger context. We are so caught up in our roles that we step out of them only by dying. If the theater starts burning, we burn right along with it, playing Hamlet to the bitter end.

And every decision that we make from this vantage point becomes a new rule in the game of our life, creating unnecessary and usually inappropriate limitations. For example, going back to the golf analogy: Many golfers play golf as though sand traps exert a magnetic attraction over golfballs. Somewhere along the way, when they didn't know how to hit the ball very well yet, they 'decided' that when there's a sandtrap, their ball will usually go into it. And so it usually does! (Arnold Palmer apparently never made that decision.)

So decisions become rules, they become how reality operates. And when survival is in question, and there is strong negative emotion present, these rules create a new reality. They operate as 'the nature of things.' To change the reality, we must change the 'decision.'

Falling Out of Love

From my experience, strong, self-destructive attraction to a romantic relationship is the most difficult feeling to overcome. We try to extricate ourselves from these negative situations, but when we try to put new behavior into effect, even if we succeed, it is with gritted teeth and inward grieving. And inevitably, this behavior modification fails us, as we find ourselves in yet another, probably more destructive, relationship of the same kind. Or else, in no relationship at all. Because we still have not dealt with the lessons of the first one.

Trying to change behavior without changing the 'decision' that motivates that behavior simply doesn't work.

David (not his real name) came to me seeking help with a relationship that was destroying not only his personal life but his business.... Now, he quite reasonably thought that he was going crazy.I recognized the symptoms of a past-life decision and decided to 'go for the cause' right away.

But since this was going to involve doing reincarnational regression, I first had David do some practice runs with remembering past lives. He came up with various images, but no cohesive 'drama' emerged. I told him that was fine, we were just practicing, and that between appointments his mind would prepare him for the next step and it would be easy.

David didn't believe in reincarnation, so I also told him what I have said earlier in this article: 'It doesn't matter. Belief is not required.'

In the next session, David gradually began to see himself as a rich man named Petrus who lived on a huge estate on the seacoast of France during the early Middle Ages..... In this lifetime, David had the strength to accept this woman who was wrecking his business and his life. Subconsciously, he was still seeing DJ as Serafina, a wronged woman, totally dependent upon him, a woman who deserved his love and protection. 'If I could, I would take care of her.' Well, now he could. And he did.

In hypnosis, David allowed that his decision to take care of Serafina 'if I could' had nothing to do with DJ and his current situation. He felt that he was free to act in a way that would support his other employees and his own life.... David chose that now. Afterward, he calmly, kindly, but firmly gave DJ two weeks' notice, helped her find a place of her own, and went on with his life.

He loved, but he was no longer 'in love.' He was free.

It's Not About Emotional Release

People often feel that past-life memory is all about 'accessing' the traumatic feelings that underlie some current behavior pattern. They think they have to find the trauma and 'go through it' in order to get results.

I and many of my colleagues have hundreds of case histories to prove that this just isn't true.

In fact, it doesn't work. If going through something once is traumatic, going through it twice or ten times simply locks us even further into the drama.

Emotional release work is therapeutic whenever we have been forced to repress emotion for some reason (e.g. an adult who was told as a child, 'If you don't stop crying, you little brat, I'm going to make you wish you were never born'). If such a repressed person can be coaxed into raging, crying, and screaming in front of a group of people who encourage this release, that person then finds out that the world does not end because we express how we feel. This is healing. It enables people to become free to allow their own emotions.

But emotional release only works at first. After one or two releases, the group are now training each other to bring up negative feelings and act them out. People who keep on doing emotional release work are actually being rewarded for feeling bad and for expressing it. They now have a new program: Don't get ulcers, give them! Perhaps that's an improvement, but only a slight one,...

It's not really about all the emotionalism, all the drama, all the big and impressive stories we uncover as we 'go for cause.'

It's about the decisions we made at that time, decisions which became cemented in place by pain and fear, decisions which we need to 'unmake' in order to move into the Light and move on.

The only 'decision' I have ever found that really works in the long, long haul is: 'I am a Conscious Co-Creator with God.'And we don't need pain and fear to remake our decisions. All we need are a loving space, an understanding heart, and a willingness to change.

Then Why Remember Past Lives?

Rather than providing emotional release, these 'reincarnational dramas' enable us to see our issues in full relief.

They help us understand why we are feeling what we are feeling.

They show us, in exaggerated form, the patterns we are replaying over and over like a song.

But when we access a past-life scenario, it's a no-brainer for us to realize that we are no longer that person - to realize that the dire consequences our subconscious mind is trying to warn us about are not actually part of the here and now.

I particularly remember one lady of medium height who weighed over 220 pounds. When we regressed her, she went to an experience of drowning in a past life. She had been a very skinny five-year-old who could not swim, she remembered, but had nevertheless gone out in a rowboat without adult supervision. The boat tipped over, and you know the rest.

How could drowning relate to a weight problem? Well, as the little boy was sinking for the last time, he remembered that his grandmother had always told him, 'Eat, eat, that's why you can't swim, you need some fat on your bones so you can float.'

This story points up an interesting aspect of the kinds of self-serving decisions we make, in past lives and in this one. We make many of our 'decisions' in an attempt to exonerate ourselves for what is happening, rather than taking responsibility.

A sensible 'decision' in this little boy's circumstance would have been something like: 'If I had it to do over again, I would not go out in a boat alone unless I knew how to swim.' Instead, my client's past-life child decided, 'If I had it to do over again, I would eat, eat, like my grandmother always told me, so I'd have some fat on my bones and I could float.'

He/she now 'had it to do over again,' and boy, could she float!

Can I Do This At Home?

Some of the people, some of the time, can access past decisions and remake them in the light of present knowledge and understanding. But even those few people who may have a few successes are probably going to fail when it comes to their larger issues.

There are two reasons for this.The first reason that 'decision therapy' is tough to do alone is that we need to get deeply into right-hemisphere functioning. And when we do that, most of us just drift into sleep or associative thinking. With no guide there to keep us on track, our minds tend to wander away.

A good therapist is like someone who is driving the car for us and knows the way. As passengers, we are free to focus on the scenery.The second reason for obtaining help is that our biggest decisions are what we are looking with. That makes it literally impossible to look at them. A good therapist can see the assumptions that we have hidden from ourselves, and bring them into the Light.

But whether we have a therapist or are attempting to remake past-life decisions on our own, none of it works if we get all caught up in the dramas. 'I am like this because I was buried alive in Ancient Egypt' is probably more interesting than, 'I am like this because I didn't have a normal home.'

But we all have to experience everything in this reality. And normalcy in the home is no guarantee of a 'normal' life. Whether we blame other people, the government, past lives, or Karma itself, we are not taking responsibility.

We begin the process of creating our own reality when we realize: 'It's not what happened to me that matters. It's what I thought it meant.' By changing the meaning, we can change our lives.


We can ignore the folks who claim that past lives can't be valid because everybody remembers being Jesus Christ or Napoleon. That's just not true. People almost never remember being anyone we've ever heard of. Paranoid schizophrenics often think that they are famous and powerful historical characters, but reincarnational memory usually involves lifetimes as slaves and peasants and householders and soldiers - just folks, living in another time and faced with the same poverty and cruelty and repression and rejection that has characterized life on Earth since the beginning of recorded history.

I use the word 'suggestion' here instead of 'decision,' because that was how Dr. Kappas looked at these things. I later became deeply influenced by the work of Thomas Szasz, M.D., and his book The Myth of Mental Illness (Rev. ed. September 1984, HarperCollins, paper; ISBN: 0060911514). Szasz found in his research that all psychotic behavior was preceded by a moment of decision. However brief and subconscious, the decision was there. But truly, a life-changing decision is very much like a hypnotic suggestion - except that many types of hypnotic suggestion will eventually wear off. The types that reflect decisions never wear off. We have to consciously 'unmake' them."

This is excerpted from:

Past-Life Decision Therapy by Susan Barber

Unconscious Mind Offers Protection

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Unconscious Mind Offers Protection
NLP Excellence offers free NLP Training. NLP Training - Training Excellence this is also where you can find our world class NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner Training

In extreme situations, the unconscious mind will attempt to protect people and there are many stories that support this fact. There might be a pile-up on the motorway and a man climbs out of his car and goes into action assisting other people until emergency services arrive. At that point, someone else points out to the man offering assistance that half of his stomach is hanging out. He has no idea what they're talking about, looks down and collapses because he suddenly associates with what is happening with himself.

I have worked with the U.K. Army and in particular, a guy by the name of Jim Windsor. Jim is one of the people you see when you return from a war zone and it's his job to help you get your head straight. He says one of the things they've noticed with people returning from war zones is that they will seem to be functioning pretty well, but 18 months to two years later, everything hits them and they need help.

Yet another example of this characteristic of the unconscious mind can be found when someone close to you dies. Generally, someone in the family will place themselves in charge of organization of the funeral and while everyone around them is collapsing, they disassociate from the death and proceed to carry out what needs to be done. Later on, three months or so down the road, while others are slowly getting back to functioning as normal, this person's mind suddenly decides it is time to deal with the death and that's when it hits them all of a sudden.


This action by the unconscious mind is an automatic one and the real danger lies in the fact that some people might remain disassociated from a tragedy and never deal with it. The grieving process is important and association is what allows us to meet this process head-on. Once your mind begins to associate, or if you have trouble associating, it is time to seek professional help and that might be with a psychologist or psychotherapist, a counsellor or someone skilled in NLP. Sometimes it might mean just talking to a friend or having a good cry, but it's important to feel the emotion and move on.

There are different levels involving the unconscious mind and that is what makes us so incredible. Sometimes our conscious mind might not even need to know or understand an event and the unconscious mind will protect us from knowing the full story. Although there are different models that explain this activity, under the NLP model it's important to associate, learn from that association and get on with our lives.

Find out more by taken our live NLP Practitioner training

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Twin Flames

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Twin Flames
Over the last year I've received numerous inquiries to this website regarding questions about soulmates, karma and twinflame connections, and how do to determine the differences. I am currently writing a book about these spiritual connections, containing facts and stories of people in my research and study, I find it so fascinating and I feel I can still learn more about these amazing soul bonding connections. I will try to update as often as I can with with new research to help others understand that Soulmates is a term that is easily been overused and not always clearly understood, some believe, there is only one soulmate, who we must search for our whole lives, or believe that it is a connection from a past life that the two share.

Each person must decide these things for themselves and also the power of choices and free will.

From a growth perspective, we may meet many and different types soulmates in our lifetime.

This doesn't mean we are lovers with each one, although that again is a personal choice.

The meeting and continued relationship is all about growth and the synchronicities that enable our growth on deeper & deeper levels, however, remember that there are twinflames, karmic and there are soulmates.

All are meaningful relationships and teach us to grow, but in different ways.

The quest for love and for that perfect mate is really a challenge and we may sometimes want to believe a relationship is the ultimate deep connection, often sometimes analyzing the relationship and wanting it to be something more.

There is different types of romantic relationships: twin flames (twin soul), Companion soulmates, true soulmates and karmic connection. All relate to the same group and category of the word soulmates, they are all spiritually equal, but hold something different for everyone, just because you may have someone you know may be going thru the same relationship experiences as you, doesn't mean it's the same type of spiritual connection. Karma has something different for everyone and a purpose to manifest in perfection.

Twin flames were created together in the beginning and share a unique destiny.

Twin flames are much as twins born of the same egg. This would be from the same soul source. There is not of that kind of twinning going on. This is different than soulmates. Twin flames would be of the same soul energy source and would have been decided at what you would term the creator source level or at the higher-self level, which we see as a level at which a being has the ability to create seed selves in 3rd-dimensional reality.

Similar to when twins are completely separated at birth and they find each other after many years and discover that they have the same food tastes, the same odd way of smiling and the same tastes in clothing (I'm born one a twin). With twin flames' being born of the same spirit, when they unite physically in 3rd Dimension. Your twin flame knows you whatever life you are expressed. But each with the same pattern of divine identity.

Though they spend some lifetimes together and others apart, their tie is eternal, and after they have each united with their Higher Self they will be together forever.

All though it may sound like a beautiful match made in heaven relationship, there is a thin line with this connection and deep intensity, that as beautiful and perfect a relationship can be, this can sometimes be a total opposite, spiritually when you enter in this life time you know if you want to meet with your twinflame or not and you know all your life you must prepare yourself to be able to join with your twin flame, it is not an automatic, it is truly a privilege to know your Twin Flame but you must be ready. You will have to learn to love deeper than you ever thought possible and that usually means meeting, with a twinflame connection you have to be brave and strong enough to be able to risk loving with your heart and soul that there is also a fear that dream may be shattered just as experiencing pain as well as joy.

When Twin Flames come together they become one, they are the mirror image of the other. They think alike, they hold the same values and often their life experiences are very similar.

No matter what, if we are to be with our Twin Flame then it will happen and by experiencing the loves placed before us by Spirit and if it is part of our karma. A book & movie (what dreams may come) was created based upon twinflame/twin soul connections. (this is one of my favorites) the general meaning to twinflames was expressed here.

A soulmate connection is different from the twin flame. We have only one twin flame, we have many soulmates. Soulmates are life partners, close friends, co-workers, a teacher, anyone who influences your life one way or another. They play the game of third dimension with you. Companion Soulmates are trying to develop the same chakra energy, these are the relationships that are certain family members or friends who are there, when you need them most. True soulmates tend to be harmonious and satisfying, but not as intense as a twinflame but can accomplish great things together as well as a life partnership even when there is negativity or a spiritual confliction in between them, nothing can separate this connection they will always be connected and feel the need to be there for one another.

These closely resemble Twin Flame connections a relationship based on romantic love, however there is still karma between two people and the couple can learn to live for many years together as a beautiful relationship and then there are the types of soulmates who come together for a reason, making some type of impact on a person's life. in some cases the relationship ending in a separation, divorce and later to find there was a reason for it all happening the way it did, keeping in mind not all romantic relationships are True soulmates.

Then there is the karmic connection.

The karmic tie may be the tightest of all and begin with the the feeling of unfinished business. This is because the soul has a deep yearning to be free and balancing of mutual karma and a inadequacy of a past life relationship. Yet though they are frequently difficult, these relationships are important in achieving self-mastery with the spiritual path. A Karmic Soul Mate is a soul that we still have karma to deal with between us, now this doesn't necessarily mean "bad" karma, it can be good karma as well. It's lessons to learn and these relationships have a feeling of unconditional love. Although these people invoke deep feelings (positive or negative) romantic relationship with a Karmic connection hold a feeling of more for lessons and unfinished business, there will always be an area of mystery of why this person entered my life. The couple separates and should share whatever karma is linked to the child. Sometimes the karma is between mother and child, so the child remains exclusively with the mother. Sometimes the karma is with the father and the mother leaves or deceases. Sometimes it is with both parents or with a sibling who has entered the game before or after you.

Frequently asked Questions

What is all this about soulmate love connection or Twin Flames can I actually have one?

Yes there are soulmates, twin flames, whatever you want to call them, but there are also SOULMATE CONNECTIONS. In believing that everything happens for a reason, know that some of the people that come into our Lives are merely there just to teach us a lesson.

What's the difference Twin Flame & Soulmate connection?

A soulmate connection would be the divine connection, both Twinflame and Soulmate both have intense energies, Twinflame is the dynamite energy where Soulmate is the Dynamo that is quite powerful but long lasting, there are several types of Soulmates, friendships, family, children even pets. Twinflame is the explosion of energy where Soulmate is the generator energy, that is the difference.

How do I know He/She is my twin flame?

Your actual Twin flame is the other half of you soul. Most of the time your Twin flame is not incarnate at the same time as you are, but stays in the Ethers as a guide and a kind of caretaker. Some times however, both you and your Twin flame do incarnate at the same time.. As said this is rare. When it does, however, usually that person is NOT your ideal mate, for good reason... they are difficult to live with, you literal" other half" embodies everything you are and usually reflects EVERYTHING you do not like about your self. This is not easy to live with total chaos you have come to where you are very comfortable with your self for it to work. Most people mistake Twin Flame for their Soulmate. Yes we all have a Twin Flame, soulmates you get together and everything is perfect, Twin flame the always is a chaos, one can be attached, age difference, different locations, or the person has some serious issues and is afraid to open up to the energy because the bond is too intense.

What will happen when I do find My Twin Flame?

It will be a Direct bond with this person, so drawn that you can't let go of the connection even if you never had a relationship or if He/She is not single, that thoughts will be never ending, sometimes for years.

Will it lead my life in destruction what do I do?

The connection is very intense and you can feel what they are feeling even apart. Even when there is positive or negative life styles, you will sense this emotion. Sound a little scary? It can be a beautiful and traumatic experience as it sounds, Sometimes people can't handle this deep Spiritual Bond with a some one and block it, but the Twin Flame is never one sided, the feeling between the two will always remain and will find themselves some way back to their Twin flame when Karma permits, this depends on every one differently. When will it connect? A Twin Flame usually pops up when you LEAST expect it. You will also find yourself coming down the the same symptoms of a "soulmate connection" it's telepathic, hugging each other is like coming home for nourishment. Twin flames come together when they have service work to do on the planet.

How do I find My Twin Flame or soulmate?

Keep your spiritual senses clear and focused on yourself Don't spend every second of your free time looking for your soulmate or Twin Flame since, like I said above, the chances of finding him/her are slim. Focus on your goals, your lessons and making your life happy. Just know that In more spiritual patterns and most soulmate connections are really just Past Life connections.

What is a past life connection?

There for us for a reason to help us grow spiritually, before we are born in the physical world, our life is with God. and were brought here for a short time to make our choices and destiny for the after life. That after crossing over the first time and many times after we haven't fulfilled what we suppose to do, we have the choice to come back into the physical world to correct our mistakes and grow from them. The whole point to life is learning and experiencing what we want to so when we cross over from the physical world to the Other Side, we won't feel we have to come back. Life on Earth isn't Home, the after life is. If you have ever experienced DejaVu, you know that you've felt like you've been in a certain place, knew someone or had a conversation before that very moment. That is very true. Most likely you knew that person, had that conversation

What if my soul mate isn't destined to come into my life for another ten years?

Spiritually all things are linked I find that if you are drawn towards this site, it is often because the time is getting close to when you will meet your true soul mate. Most people who write do find they are due to meet their soul mate or partner in the fairly near future.

What is Karma connection?

Karma, put simply, is cause and effect, or action and reaction. The influence of past over present and how actions in a past life, predetermined the conditions in your present life and character. Each life we live shapes our character and our future destiny in a way we seem to have little control over but are entangled with inescapably

What is better relationship: soulmate, twin flame or Karma connection?

it doesn't mean that having a relationship with you're twin flame is better than any other spiritual connection, you're spiritual energy knows what is best in a life time, and all are not perfect but in fact equal when it comes to a relationship, with a soulmate it can have their up and downs like non soulmate relationships, but with the soulmate there is a certain bond that can't be broken, with a twin flame, like i said above it is very intense and can make a relationship break and re connect, sometimes years later, with a karma connection, you feel the spiritual energy and want to use it to help the other person with unconditional love and as long as that person is living a happy life and are a part of it what ever way possible that would be the true gift of all.

What if there is a confliction with my soulmate connection?

with spirituality, it's very unpredictable and things always happen for a reason, people are sent everyday as messagers just as you are sent to people for a reason, you can't bring some one close if there is a plan for you above, you have to know how to deal and handle the energy not to over dominate you, that you are in control of your own life not others, always remember things happen for a reason and activity spiritually calms and reverses the energy.

What is the spiritual reverse?

when you're soulmate doesn't feel the energy you giving and feel all alone needs to connect, this will bring the relationship into a spiritual reverse, all soulmate connections are 50/50 and the emotions can sometimes take over, but it can reverse that it's not you any more it can be them working the energy around about the relationship.


Singles And Dating Open Question My Ex Girlfriend Is Single Again What Do I Do

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Singles And Dating Open Question My Ex Girlfriend Is Single Again What Do I Do
Basically my ex who was my best friend before being my girlfriend left me in November of last year for a guy from her university,since then she has told me that it was a mistake and she regrets it.

We never spoke while she went out with the guy but she split with him in April and we've been friends again since. She then went out with a guy from work but he turned out to be a scumbag who was cheating on her and she dumped him a couple of days ago. Ironically I left my now ex girlfriend the day before and I cant stop thinking about my ex,I talk to her online almost every day. She's really down and depressed right now after being played by the guy at work so I dont know if its the right time but I really wanna get back together with her before someone else beats me to it.

I know a lot of people say exes are exes for a reason but I really love this girl and I'd love nothing more than to be with her again so just doing nothing Isn't an option. A few of my friends also think she still has feelings for me because we are very flirty when we are out together. I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice on what I should do to be with her again.


A Simple Technique For Improving Eye Witness Memory

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A Simple Technique For Improving Eye Witness Memory
Thanks to the foibles of human memory, eye-witness evidence is notoriously unreliable. One attempt to help the situation was the Cognitive Interview (pdf), conceived by psychologists in the 1980s. This involves strategies such as conducting the interview in a situation that matches the original crime context as closely as possible, and asking witnesses to remember events from multiple perspectives. Although highly effective, the Cognitive Interview can be impractical and it often goes unused. Now Annelies Vredeveldt and Steven Penrod have tested a far simpler technique for improving eye-witness memory - getting them to close their eyes. Lab research has already shown that this can be beneficial. Vredeveldt and Penrod took the technique out on the streets to see if it works there too.

Ninety-six undergrads signed up for what they thought was a study into "social interactions". In groups of up to four, they met two female researchers on a New York street corner. Shortly after the participants' arrival the two women started arguing and insulting each other. The altercation ended with one of the women knocking the other woman's papers to the ground and storming off.

After they'd witnessed the public spat, the participants were led away either to another street location or the psychology lab, both being five minutes' walk. Here they were asked to recall everything they could about the event, and then they were asked a series of questions about what happened. Half the participants were instructed to close their eyes during the recall and the interview (they weren't told why); the other half were not. The researchers ensured each of the staged arguments was caught on film so that the participants' answers could be checked for accuracy.

Overall, participants who closed their eyes recalled 37.6 per cent more useful visual information about the argument, and, in questioning, they produced 23.8 per cent more correct answers coded as having high detail. The advantage of having closed eyes was most pronounced for participants who were quizzed inside. This supports the idea that the technique works by helping participants to create the original context in their mind's eye. If it worked by helping reduce distraction, you'd think it would have had more of a benefit out on the street.

"From an applied perspective, the findings were promising," Vredeveldt and Penrod said. "In free recall, the effect size of the eye-closure effect for witnesses interviewed inside (d=.88) approached the effect size obtained with the Cognitive Interview.

"Given that the eye-closure instruction requires no training or additional interview time, it could prove to be a useful alternative [to the Cognitive Interview]," they added.

"Annelies Vredeveldt, and Steven D. Penrod (2012). Eye-closure improves memory for a witnessed event under naturalistic conditions. Psychology, Crime and Law DOI: 10.1080/1068316X.2012.700313

Post written by Christian Jarrett for the BPS Research Digest.


071114L Self Improvement

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071114L Self Improvement
Background reading material by Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr. for Year 1 PPSD session on Wednesday 14th November 20071.0 EFFORT TO IMPROVEYou can not improve yourself without effort. You must make the intention to be a better person and take action to achieve your goals. Life is not chance. Everything that occurs is pre-destined. You however do not know your predestination. You have to work hard, search for it, use your will power and choice that Allah gave you. Accept personal responsibility for mistakes. Do not blame others for your problems. Learn from your past experiences, positive and negative. Good manners or experiences should be reinforced while bad ones should be avoided. 2.0 OBJECTIVES2.1 HAPPINESSHappiness is not an objective in life. Pursuing happiness can be running after an illusion since happiness is not definable. The realistic objective is contentment and satisfaction with yourself and what you have. However contentment should not be understood in a negative sense of refusing to take active steps to improve some of the negative things in your character and behavior. 2.2 NEEDS VS WANTSLearn to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Wants are emotional; needs are rational. Always choose needs over wants. Be realistic. Do not live in a dream world. Dreaming is good in motivating you and developing your creative thinking. Dreaming has limits if it obscures correct perception of reality. Never entertain illusions about your strengths and weaknesses. Never deceive yourself. Never allow others to deceive you by praising you and giving you attributes you lack. Such persons are your true enemies. Confront your weaknesses and do not deny them. Do something about correcting them3.0 INTER-DEPENDENCEYou can not succeed on your own; this is a world of interdependence. You must learn to net-work and collaborate with others in synergistic relations. Good manners and behavior are necessary for positive and meaningful interaction with people. You need to learn to respect and protect the rights of others so that your rights may also be respected. Every action, behavior, or habit has consequences. Always consider and think about the long-term consequences before you speak or act.4.0 POSITIVE ATTITUDEDevelop a positive attitude. Be optimistic and develop positive behavior. The world is essentially good and the hereafter much better. There is more good than evil. You can always succeed in the long-run if you do not become pessimistic and give up. Look at problems of life in perspective. What may look big may not be so in the long run. You may hate today what turns out to be good tomorrow. See and emphasize the positive in any problem.5.0 FUTURISTIC OUTLOOKYou should consider yourself as living in the future. Life on earth is just a transition. Always prepare for the future (both what remains of your life on earth and life in the hereafter). A futuristic outlook will enable you to deal with setbacks of life. You should always know that the future could always be better.