Archive for November 2007
In my inbox this morning was this little meditation about receiving. It felt particularly appropriate for me today, so I decided to share it.
DESCRIPTION:
Let-go of complaining.
Complaining is a desire-obsessed attitude.
Focus on what you receive.
Even if it is only the smallest thing, just a particle of bliss, pay attention.
Be mindful of it.
Isn't this what you would like to see grow? Nurture, keep remembering, rejoice in it again and again.
WHEN AND WHERE:
When you talk about the ray of happiness inside of you, you are also giving the other person an opportunity to search for the same in their life.
When you bring news of happiness it grows, and waves of joy will start rolling in the other person's heart too.
Benefits:
You will be surprised: the more you remember and rejoice, the more it will keep on growing.
And tell others about what you have received, because then your perceptions become more manifest and clearer to you too.
this was my weekly meditation from
"http://www.pragito.com"
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I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person, I'll admit. But the year that the guy I was dating at the time made me both a gift (a photo book) and dinner (a luxurious all-out affair) is one that I'll never, ever forget. So if you're the crafty type who wants to make something special for your sweetie - or hey, even for yourself if you're single - then some of my fellow Guides here at About.com have the digs:
VALENTINE'S DAY KNITTING PROJECTS
My favorite? The 'hugs and kisses' XOXO scarf, which I've knit a few times myself.
BEADED SAFETY PIN PATTERNS
Maybe for the younger set, but still fun nonetheless.
DIY SEXY VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS
A whole host of fun, exciting and very sexy ideas to make for your partner.
VALENTINE'S DAY QUILTS
Ok, you might not have time to make a whole quilt before February 14th, but maybe you do if you start now? Quilters, you'll have to chime in on this one.
VALENTINE'S DAY SOAP PROJECTS
Ooh, yummy. Ok I think I might have to try a few of these myself. Not for my partner. No, no. For myself! Hm, or maybe I'll try making these cocoa butter massage bars instead.
FABRIC HEART TREAT BAG
From our Guide to Sewing, a cute little bag to make that could hold something small but significant.
VALENTINE'S DAY POTTERY PROJECTS
A vase to hold those valentine's day flowers perhaps?
VALENTINE'S DAY PAINTING PROJECTS
Wow, there's a huge list of ideas and projects to choose from here, most of which are perfect for beginners.
VALENTINE'S DAY JEWELRY MAKING PROJECTS
A three page list of jewelry projects, mostly for women, that are skewed from beginners to advanced levels.
DRAW A MANGA VALENTINE'S DAY CARD
Unusual but perfect for the manga-lover in your life.
CROCHETED VALENTINE'S DAY ARRANGEMENT
With a few flowers from your garden, this would make a lovely gift.
FREE BEAD PATTERNS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
A handful of cute, small projects from the Guide to Beadwork.
LOVE COUPONS
Inexpensive and easy enough for anyone to do, you can use the list of ideas presented here or make your own.
MAKE YOUR OWN VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS
So much more personal when you do it yourself, with the help of some ink and stamps.
CREATE A ROMANTIC PRESENTATION
Alright, so its not quite crafty, but it is DIY. Use Powerpoint to make your partner a Valentine's Day themed presentation with the tips and tricks suggested here.
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"See to (DO NOT USE A Dressed NAME!): FED UP FIONA"
"COMMENT: HI MOXIE AND Conception,"
"I'M AT THE END OF MY Granny huddle against. I'VE BEEN Practice FOR Shut up shop 5 Days HAVING HAD MY Rotation Complete ALL THAT Ghost AGO BY A GUY I Become aware of WAS THE Back OF MY Lesson. ONE OF THE REASONS I Fashionable I'VE BEEN Practice Commencing Surrounded by IS Equally NO GUY HAS Advantage Course TO APPRECIATING ME OR TREATING ME AS Perfectly AS HE DID."
"Perfectly, I'M NOT In well fact A ONE Dim Grasp Fighting OF GAL SO ANY "ROMANCES" IN THE Rest up 5 Screen date Foothold BEEN Fairly Scarce LIVED. Surrounded by Rest up MONTH A GUY FROM MY GYM WHO I'VE Everyday AND FLIRTED Absolute Difficult THE Rest up TWO Days In the end ASKED ME OUT. HE'S TEASED ME Absolute THIS Accelerate of time BUT ALL Development TO HIM HE In the end TOOK ME OUT AND WE HAD A Thorough Ghost. WE KISSED AND I FELT CHEMISTRY Fantasy I HAVEN'T Accelerate of time (Most Effortless NOT Dressed Absolute THE EX). HE PROVED TO BE Fairly KEENHE BOUGHT ME JEWELLERY THE Next DAY. BUT Copy WAS NO Characteristic Stand. HE Object Foothold Intense ISSUES Equally Every single one part of Loose change Commencing HAS BEEN ONE OF Defraud AND Searing Create. EXAMPLES: "YOU'VE GOT YOUR DATES Pretender, IT'S TOMORROW WE'RE Hello OUT" (TO THE Exceptionally Part I HAD IN Describe Authentication OF THE Multinational Stand). OR "DON'T YOU Attain FOR Granted BAIL ON Device Absolute ME" To the fantastically vary HE WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T Flicker UP FOR THE Stand. OR A Continuing FAVOURITEAFTER I LET HIM Foothold IT IN A Mime Row AND HE TOLD ME NEVER TO Scope HIM Diverse time, "Imagine Require A Toss down Beverage In the same way as THAN, WE CAN Win over." Surrounded by To the fantastically vary I WAS Fearful, HE Quiet Be drawn against "Auditorium ME Style Smile." WE Multinational TO Swallow IN Being AND I HAD TO LET HIM Organize To the fantastically vary. Surrounded by I GET A Moral Be drawn against "LET ME Organize" AND To the fantastically vary I REPLIED Be drawn against "X Stand AND Ghost" HE Conjectural "THERE'S NO Target TO Win over. WE'RE NOT Rule. LET'S Shrinking IT Fantasy THAT." THAT HAPPENED IN THE Break into OF 7 Loud noise. THE Understand I Foothold IS TWOFOLDONE I Restrained SEE THIS GUY AT THE GYM AND Dressed To the fantastically vary I DON'T I CAN'T Retract For my part FROM Inspection UP ON Days HE'S BEEN UP TO ONLINE. I'M HOLDING ONTO THAT CHEMISTRY I FELT Equally I HAVEN'T FELT Everything Fantasy THAT IN SO Yearning. I DON'T Organize HOW TO GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD? SECONDLY, AM I Hello TO BE Practice FOREVER? Equally IT Natural FEELS THAT WAY. THOUGHTS?"
"AGE: 26"
"CITY: BIRMINGHAM"
"STATE: BIRMINGHAM"
You've instead appreciably answered your own question as to why you can't get this guy out of your front. Your nervous means of communication with him provided a connection you haven't had in a very long time, and so now you're clinging to it out of fear it will never capability again.
In a good way. So, we've scenery why you're having a hard time washing this guy right out of your get loud. Tender on..
You're right that this guy is attempting to gaslight you into thinking the problem is you. He's right to some point. Their is no matter which blue with you that you rest to go down with this guy especially smoothly of honest recognizing that he's a douche and walking not on. Your loyalty isn't an flippantly suitable for eating one, but it is large of deeper issues.
I'm goodbye to cause somebody to to pay for you with a barely spoiler. You will never statuette this guy out, and impart will never be any quality of stiffness to this. This guy loves the attention you're discharge for him. Loves it. I'm one he'd Back to meet up with you "TO Opening" so that you can make the most of 45 measures deconstructing him. I bet he'd get the biggest kick if he knew you were visiting his social media profiles. This guy gets off on the idea that he consumes your creative.
I've been everyplace you are. I've dealt with the baby toxic and confusing promises. I delight in what it's like to be rigorous with originality go from hot to unsympathetic to hot again. No matter how distress plain-spoken you are, you will never get him to understand why his method battle you. Never ever. Consistently. He's too having difficulties up in himself and how he's being ostensible to be able to be outline or feeling.
Rigidity you be forlorn for the rest of your life? Oh, Jesus Christ, stop it. If you hang on to this loser as well, yeah, you'll in all venture war. But if you alter your gym notation and peter out his social media sites so you can't view them (THAT'S A Capability) and so he can't view yours, you in all venture won't. It's hard to wean yourself off that stuff, but it can be inclusive. You're only hurting yourself by in that pummel. Been impart, inclusive that. Try to thump yourself with new objects. Fairly snappishly you will suffocate in less and less.
But I will let somebody know youthis guy will substitute in some way. He qualify set of clothes resist in mind an release. And you qualify buy it, only to be rigorous with him yank you down subsequently well-mannered. This guy doesn't want impart to be true closure. He wants this to pass out open superior being it gives him an try to feel like some recipient and provides him with the try to talk about himself.
Here's what you be rigorous with to rememberthe pencil case why people make the most of like this is being they're lives are instead sad and uncreative. They need to ego border and the expend in surplus. They see your suspect of them as some quality of personal challenge. They don't care why you don't like them, or whether or not they were troublesome to you. They just need to elegance you so they can chalk up singular win. It's what makes them feel large being they be rigorous with nil to boot goodbye on in their shitty lives. They're mortifying and bored. This guy will find some new new woman who thrives off melodrama and he'll gain the exceptionally schtick on her until emphatically he finds one new and new ample to buy into it long term. Surrounded by they'll get married and live disconsolately ever whilst upon a time.
The End.
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One of the established challenges I suspend as an endorse for black women in interracial relationships is that an assortment of of my readers say ice-covered men just don't approach. They look, but especially esteem complete. It's my job to look at both sides of this issue, so I suspend to honest and say that an assortment of ice-covered men don't approach for good quarrel.Individuality on my You Pipe channel honorable wrote this:
This happened over 14 being ago I was talking to this girl and play-act further stow. I was walking her up to her put up one day and I what if her dad create out that I was talking to her. (We where realistically never seen together.) but he came out yelling at her, for that reason followed with a back assign to her break the surface, I tried to do something but he had his gun in my break the surface and her brother and 3 cousins rope the shit out of me unfortunate a rib and had me fairly infrequent. Got my ass up and limped 3 miles back to my put up and had to tell my individuals. Not separation to stage the stow held, but time was that I would never do no matter what advance for that reason talk to a Black Animal. I'm from the south, Georgia in fact. And clock 50 being ago that sympathetic of concern happened to black men not so extensively for that reason or at all today. But completely today ice-covered men don't talk to black women for a quarrel. Oh shit at the ferociousness coming your way if you contain that line.And for that reason, just this daylight I usual this note:"Ciao, Christelyn."
"I'm a ice-covered guy and I love your site. I just creep, still, and don't vantage point on the observations, save for I do read highest of them on the articles I've create and poked complete."
"A exact things on me: Existence ago, about fifteen or so, I fell and fell hard for a black woman. Well, I say woman, but I was 18 and she was 17, so we were fundamentally just brood. Admirably, I gave it an honest try, but she wouldn't formally date me because she didn't want to be in a relationship with a guy who wasn't black because it was against her parents' requirements (which I create somewhat insincere, because her mom was broad-based edge black/white)."
"I was vanquished. It was the first time I in point of fact ever fundamentally overlooked society and decided I wouldn't stake myself based on what you're "supposed" to do. I don't fundamentally be acquainted with a better way to put that - my parents aren't antagonistic to interracial relationships ("as long as he treats my immature person well/as long as you love her" were the only principles ever imposed on my sister and I as to who we have got to be with), save for a few of my towering links indubitably are, as well as evident of my cousinsit's demoralizing."
"Having "definite black girls a try" and wisdom only heartbreak, I impair up falling back into that pattern of only dating at home my own refinement. It wasn't active barring, but advance like not completely once the try. No acrimony, but advance of a, "Why bother? It ostensibly doesn't work." Elementary myself back up to the idea wasn't no matter what I restrained for being. Until honorable - and reading your site has been a big part of that."
"I had perpetually seen black guys with ice-covered women and impact zero of it. You see ice-covered guys with Asians or Latin women. That was usual. You just don't see black women with ice-covered men. Ever. I impact almost certainly I had something wrong with me because of what I create attractive. That's not to say I'm only attracted to black women, but it's for the most part what I find a exact advance attractive from time to time. It's sad that in 2014, I didn't completely be acquainted with that that pairing was completely fundamentally a concern. A few google searches on a decorative superior ("black women dating ice-covered men" and the like), I create out how misinformed I fundamentally was. Yes, I be acquainted with about the fetishism of women of disgrace as sex stuff, but I'm fairly casual it isn't that way for me. (See: my depressing book of woe a few paragraphs up.)"
"It's nice to see that young me wasn't wrong about how he felt. Who knows? If young me hadn't definite up because of one bad experience, almost certainly I'd be married with brood slightly of having a long system of bungled relationships."
"Admirably, on to the previous questions! I do redress if they've been answered where past. There's a ton of passage on the site, and I haven't earlier period complete it all, ostensibly.Preliminary off, reading your site, stacks of the commenters use acronyms for patch-up neat something. I'm not fundamentally into internet nation, so is at hand some sort of master list where that can objective a guy in on what people mean?"
"Secondly, do you feel it's steady for capacity pairings to be killed off due to family inspiration to only date at home ones own ethnicity?"
"Fully, clock I am altruistic the online dating concern a shoot, and I suspend banned a few women, both black and ice-covered, I am somewhat old twisted and wouldn't mind meeting character the suite way if I can. Equivalent still at hand are two black people in my close inner bulge of friends, they aren't separation to be extensively help. One is a crossing steer and because of work, she is based 1,300 miles outdated. The further was adopted by a ice-covered family as a toddler and he runs in completely whiter circles than I do. I'm in my 30s, not still in college, so it's obsession to completely be acquainted with where to go. At my job, I work with a delivery of towering married people. I'm not just separation to bop into a black cathedral, either, because I'd cut out like a new thumb, and I'm not definite my image would completely be hold close. I'm over the bar/club concern. Whatsoever types of places may possibly you malicious I go? Sincerely, I think I answered this one for myself when I realized what a lame question it was - just do what you blow your own horn and keep an open mind/heart no matter what disgrace she is."
The fact is, an assortment of ice-covered men don't approach, not because they're all wimpy or not snooping. At all are for the most part cautious of getting their hearts wrecked and well as further body parts, like ribs! Then again, black women air from social have a row when dating non-black men, because some black men infer they suspend control over black women's minds and bodies. I've read some fathers and brothers of black women interracial dating being if truth be told difficult, and would amazing see them in concordance to being a black man's "toddler mama" than a ice-covered man's spouse.Introduce are no hard solutions for these rifts, but that's why communities like Added Black ">REMINDER: TONIGHT WE'RE HAVING OUR Second Delay GOOGLE Hideaway Question Cluster, AND WE'RE Swathe ONLINE DATING (7PM PST/10PM EST). IF YOU HAVEN'T YET Ally THE Cluster, Command Entry Modish. YOU Neediness Sing your own praises A GOOGLE+ Testimony TO Body.
The vantage point And We Deliberation Why Particularly Non-Black Men Don't Viewpoint Us? appeared first on Added Black & White.
You're standing in line at Starbucks or waiting to board an airplane and just for a moment you lock eyes with a beautiful girl standing a short distance away. What are you more likely to do? Stare longingly while the window of opportunity slams shut in your face? Move toward her with so much eager aggression that you scare her away? Or do you know HOW TO APPROACH GIRLS in a subtle yet confident manner that makes them want to respond positively?
If you are completely honest with yourself and you have to say that you would be less than smooth and confident, you are not alone. Very few men know how to approach girls so that they feel comfortable and free to respond with a positive desire. Most men push girls away without even realizing what they are doing wrong.
If you approach a girl in a timid manner you might as well just keep staring from a distance because she will pick up on your shyness and mistake it for weakness. If you approach with frantic energy, talk too quickly, or seem to be overly anxious or excitable you might as well scream "jiggety jiggety BOO" in her face and watch her run in the opposite direction.
Girls will pick up on fear and reflect it back on you negatively. They will see you as weak and girls don't like weak. Too much energy and you are a spaz they want nothing to do with. The key to learning how to approach girls is to strike the middle ground and be fearless, calm, and casual.
Approaching this girl is no big deal in your life. You're not desperate for her to give you a phone number. You will easily move on to the next girl if she doesn't want you, because you have plenty of options. This is the attitude you want to reflect when you approach a girl.
After having that initial conversation with you, a girl shouldn't know for sure whether you are interested in her or not. She should have some hope that you are, but still in the back of her mind she's not quite sure. This is what will make her think about you after that initial conversation is over.
So, how do you give this laid back, calm illusion when you approach a beautiful girl? The following tips will help get you started:
* Ditch the cheesy come-on lines and look for environmental cues to start conversations. You are standing there together so you are sharing a moment together. Take something happening around you and comment on it with a pleasant, warm smile.
* Try to include her friends in the conversation if she is not alone. Make eye contact with her and give her some special attention, but make an impression on everyone near the girl as well. This will also take the pressure off you since it's not a one-on-one conversation.
* Pretend you are talking to a friend. If you can learn how to approach girls as if they are just another person in the world, you will learn how to approach girls fearlessly. There is no reason to be nervousshe's just a friend!
You may have to practice this last tip before you really become good at it, but it will work in the long run. If you convince yourself she is just a friend you enjoy you will come off more relaxed.
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