By David DeAngelo
QUESTIONHonestly Dave, I think you need more caution, and warning signs on your products, before some knucklehead tries to sue you for loading his life with more women than the poor soul knows how to handle.lol I've followed your newsletter, purchased your Ebook, and Advanced Series. Totally Incredible stuff. I dated my High School sweetheart for the better portion of 5 years, and honestly if I knew way back then what I know now it probably wouldn't have lasted 5 months. She was always demanding, and got upset when I tried to hang out with friends of mine, pretty much your average basket case, but I felt like she was the only girl that I could ever attract. Then I managed to stumble over your site and signed up for your newsletter and not long after I cut the ties with her, and I am happier today and date more interesting, intelligent women than I ever thought possible. All thanks to your ingenious, and selfless hard work and research.
I would say that my greatest problem is that i'm generally a pretty low keyed mellow kind of guy that doesn't mind going out to clubs but would far rather find a few girls that don't mind chilling out at home or enjoying a walk on the beach, stargazing or hell just wrestling around on the bed.(no pun intended) lol However if these girls tend to stay homebound for the most part what sort of venues would you recommend for meeting these types. Door to door dating perhaps.. lol I have also tried the online personals which is where much of my success come from, but many of these girls you have to look out for or you could have a bona fide stalker on your hands.(I know this from experience)Yeah it sucks being a good looking, confident guy huh? This is my first time emailing you after reading the newsletter for well over a year now..(yeah I stay busy) but I wanted to tell you what a awesome job your doing and that it's greatly appreciated from myself and multitudes of others, not that you didn't already know that; just thought i'd annoy you by saying..lol OK Dave.. Take care and keep up the terrific work..God Bless
Lionhart, DE
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, first off I want to thank you for the shameless promotion and over-hyping of my materials.
I appreciate it...
Next, let's talk about your "wish list".
You "don't mind going out to clubs", but you'd "far rather find a FEW GOOD GIRLS that don't mind chilling at home or enjoying a walk on the beach, stargazing or hell just WRESTLING AROUND ON THE BED".
With each other, I'm assuming...
Hey, sounds good to me.
Maybe while they're wrestling they'd let you videotape... and you could start an internet company based on the concept.
Cut me in for a percentage.
And you know, I like the way you think.
Well, I hate to break the news to you... but if you want to meet women, you're going to have to do SOMETHING.
The internet-bed-wrestling-make-money idea was a pretty good one... hey, kill two birds with one stone.
Other than that, you might try out a few of those magical activities that are interesting, enjoyable, and (BIG AND) also draw intelligent, gorgeous women like a magnet.
Try an art history class.
Or go to a classy "food fair" or restaurant opening.
Hit a yoga class or a kickboxing aerobics class.
Dance classes are also a big winner.
In other words, there are some great places you can go to meet women... AND have fun... AND become a more interesting, classy guy.
Who'd-a-thunk-it?
QUESTION
I have been talking to this girl for about a month now and I find myself falling in love with her everytime we see each other (every Tuesday Night). She recently told me that she didn't want to date me yet, because s he would hurt me. She also said that if it is meant to happen it will, and that we shouldn't force it. My question is how do I get her to realize that it is meant, and that we should push it, and how do I prove to her she won't hurt me?
Sincerely,
-J.K.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'd say that the FIRST thing you should do is grab a piece of paper and a pen, and walk into the bathroom right now.
Turn on the light.
On the piece of paper I want you to write the word "YZZUW" on it. I know, it doesn't make sense... but do it anyway.
Now, hold the piece of paper in front of you, so it's facing the mirror... almost as if it's a CAPTION for YOUR FACE.
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Let that settle in for a minute.
Step 2:
Now that you have a clear picture of what a WUSSY looks like, move on to a more advanced maneuver.
Carefully take your right hand, and raise it up next to your face.
Hold it about 12 inches away.
Now firmly BITCH SLAP yourself with it.
Repeat until the Wuss has been slapped out of you...
Dude, duuuuuude.
You are SOOO missing the point here.
She does not want a guy who will prove to her that she won't hurt him. She doesn't want to be with you because you're acting like a WUSSBAG.
Women aren't attracted to girly-men.
Girly-men freak women out.
Women RUN from girly-men.
The answer is for you to start acting like a MAN... and stop acting like a GIRL.
You need to get yourself a copy of my eBook immediately.
This is an emergency. Do it.
Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
SUCCESS STORY
Hi Dave,
I have in my life had good and bad success with women and I just learned to live with it. I have a very good job im a big guy 6'3" 240 nice build and I get told a lot that im good looking. So with all that being said I just thought I would take things as they come. I have always been cocky+funny naturally BUT I didn't use that on the women that I really wanted always one ones that wanted me or just girls I work with etc.. Also I wasn't doing it in the fashion that you teach. I wouldn't use the lines " you know you want me admit it" or "just say please" those would move the attention to ME and away from the situation I would think which wasn't what I was after while doing it. I would always be C+F just because that was me.. I wasn't trying to pick anyone up lol its so funny thinking back now. Anyway. after reading your mail bag and book it dawned on me.. WTF was I thinking.. I would have literally dozens of women chasing me but all of them I didn't want (not cute or what ever).. but the ones I wanted were like he's cool but what ever..well this girl that I like is a bartender at a bar I go to every weekend, we joke play but never date.. I started using the stuff you teach on her as a test (was in friend zone) and BAM she wont leave me alone said to me today on phone that she's liking me more and more every day..I said damn your slow.. everyone else gets it what's taking you so long.. I helped her tend bar last night and every time she passed me I said loudly "will you stop grabbing my ass" its like a different girl.
I have lots more stories since ive been using your stuff for weeks now and its un-real I am able to get laid 3 or 4 times a week now with out even really trying. (need to rest sometimes) lol. I wasted so much time and im only 34.. oh one more thing to those people that worry about age.. the oldest girl I was with since I started Dave's stuff was 30 and that's cuz she was a challenge.. the rest are 22-26 its like magic man.. get rid of your fears and go for it
P.S. since I started DD101 I have filled my cell phone book with numbers and most I didn't even ask, they would take my phone and put it in themselves.
J from Michigan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I love getting emails like yours...
One of the great things about the Cocky & Funny (now referred to on occasion as Cocky Comedy) is that so many guys ALREADY GET IT.
And, just like you, many of us have understood EXACTLY what to do... we just never did it when we were around women that we LIKED.
I'm glad you're figuring out how all of the pieces fit together...
And thanks for reminding all of us that just because you're tall and good looking does NOT mean that you're going to automatically get girls...
By the way, put a hat on that thing... and watch out. Use caution, my friend. You don't want one of those unwanted gifts that just keeps on giving...
QUESTION
Greetings David,
I live in small Easter-European country which is by all means underdeveloped.
So, after encountering the ad for your book, I was suspicious if it is going to work for Bosnian women too.
But, after buying and reading it, I only discovered that the whole story about Bosnian women was only in my mind. I discovered that after reading about all kinds of fears men have while approaching women. Those fears take form of the entire set of reasons only not to be rejected or embarrassed.
Anyhow, in brief: After browsing through the book I started implementing concepts. My address book is now filled with emails and phone numbers right below the email. I am constantly going out with girls. And I enjoy it.
But the biggest benefit I derived from the book was: it has instructed me to be a better person and man. It has also shown me how.
So, thank you for sharing your knowledge with me.
I am very much interested in your new publications, should you have some. And in joining the Buyer's club if you have one, too.
Could you please let me know about these things?
Many greetings to DoubleYourDating community.
It's OK to be a man.
Regards,
D
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Thanks for your email.
I get a lot of emails and questions from guys who ask "Will this work in my country?".
Now, I personally don't have a lot of experience in different countries and cultures... but from what I hear back from guys all over the world who are using these concepts, they are universal.
Congratulations, and thank you for your email.
QUESTION
Hi David
Dave, I can safely say you've changed my life. I was once a 27 year old virgin, I know, extreme! I had never been on a date, and I had one girlfriend when I was 17. And get this, I've been told by loads of women that I'm hot. The reason for this is my complete lack of confidence, I just had none. I would get eyed up in a bar, and want to go over, but I just didn't know what to say! If I was approached by a lady, I either froze up or shook so much that everyone in the room thought their cell phone was vibrating!
I just got up 1 day decided to go on the internet and learn! I really didn't think I would come across so much rubbish! But I signed up to all the free newsletters and I used techniques subtly with me female friends! Well as you've obviously guessed, your tips were the ticket! I bought the book and I was off.....
I am now 28, been using your techniques for about a year, year and a half.and I am so happy! I have girls coming out of my ears! I am now dating 3 women (very hot women) and I have 4 that wont leave me alone!
I am emailing you to say thank you, I would really appreciate an email back if you don't post it on a newsletter, just so I know you've read it, or I might send it again knowing me!
Ok here's the question, I have heard similar questions so much on your newsletters but this is quite specific and a 'proper' answer would be great, rather than the default one!
Right, the one girl that I want is the one playing hard to get. I've played it cool so far, I knew her from work but didn't know her very well, she's now left and I saw her in a club and 'told' her to give me her number! I rang her but her phone is always off, so I sent her a text message (sms) asking if she fancies going for a coffee during the week. She replied that she's busy all week and she said that she has just got back with her ex and if I want to get to know her as a friend is my decision.
I REALLY like her, and she does not know this (because she doesn't need to know). I am still a novice at the game so could you tell me exactly what you would do and exactly what you would say? please
Thanks again
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then... welcome to the world of being an adult man! Exciting.
And I'm glad to hear that you're doing well with the ladies... FINALLY.
Now, you want me to give you a "special" answer to your "special situation".
Let's see...
You are surrounded by gorgeous women... and they're chasing you around like you're some kind of rock star... but you don't want THOSE women... of course.
Nooooo...
You want the ONE who isn't interested in you... the one who just got back with her boyfriend.
Before I give you a "special" answer, I'd like you to consider your own situation.
Let's be honest, shall we?
Right now you are OUT OF CONTROL.
You are not into this girl because she's actually that "special".
You're into her because she's NOT INTO YOU.
If you'll admit this to yourself, and admit that you're basically out of control in this situation, then we can make some progress.
So admit it. Say it out loud.
"I'm out of control. I want this girl mostly because she doesn't want me... and it really fascinates the hell out of me... and I can't stop thinking about it."
Just read that out loud.
Read it again, just so you hear the words this time.
Think about it for a minute.
You UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF!
And it STILL works on YOU.
That's profound.
And by the way, the more you try to "resist" the idea... and tell yourself that she's just a challenge and you only want her because she's "special", etc. the worse it will get.
So what should you do?
Hit the road.
Say "Next".
Move on.
Walk.
One of the best things you can do for YOURSELF is to get the number of an unusually attractive woman, then THROW IT AWAY.
Why? Duh.
Because it's a symbol. It's you saying to yourself "I don't need ANY woman. I can go out and meet women anytime. I'm happy as I am."
That kind of thing will help you, big time.
Now, if you REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to take my advice... and you want to make yourself crazy some more, here's what to do:
1. Stop calling this girl for a couple of weeks.
2. Call her in two weeks and say "Hey, I have a question that I really need to ask you... call me".
3. When she calls, say "Yea, I wanted to ask you why it's taking you so long to call and ask me out...". Tell her about some beautiful and intelligent woman you've been dating, and then tell her that you'd like to get together with her and hang out as friends.
4. When you do see her, JUST BE FRIENDS. Chill out, and give her space.
5. Take the time and energy to actually get to know her as a person. Find out if she is really the kind of girl that you'd like to be with. Make a list of all the things that would make a "perfect" woman. Then make a list of all the things that would be "deal killers". Ask her all the questions when you meet her... and do it in a "friend" kind of way.
I'd be willing to bet you a dollar in cash that she is NOT AT ALL the kind of girl you really want to be with.
On the other hand, if she IS your dream girl, lean back and take your time.
Bust on her. Tease her. Make fun.
Tell her that you can't possibly understand how her boyfriend could stand her.
Chances are that she won't be with this guy for long, and you will have now established that she's your dream girl... and you'll be ready to "pounce".
Moral?
Just get on with your life, man.
You're talking like a Wuss who's trying to pretend that he's not.
My Wuss-Dar is going off like 4th of July fireworks.
COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN
Hi Dave!
I'm a quite hot 25 year old (or so I've been told many times...) woman who's been in a relationship for several years & a few months ago my boyfriend "mysteriously" started receiving your newsletter. Now he says he doesn't read the stuff (with the way he acts I believe him) but I wish he did! I have to say that I'm considering ending my relationship since he's become such a wuss (he didn't used to be) I greatly enjoy reading your stuff and to all the guys out there, C & F IS THE BEST WAY TO GET WOMEN, I should know being one myself. (Also a challenge, well uh... for me, is always very nice)
Keep up the terrific work & maybe one day all women will have great men
B, Montreal
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'll tell you what... when you do leave the dumb-ass (and you will, I can hear that you've already made the decision in your heart... and you're just trying to rationalize it now) make sure and email me again.
I can guarantee you that I'LL READ THESE NEWSLETTERS.
Kiss Kiss,
D.
SUCCESS STORY
David,
It is amazing how some good advice and a simple change of attitude can make such a difference in your life. I am in my late forties and have been physically disabled from birth. (I use a wheelchair to get around.) Throughout my history with women, I have always been the "friend." I've always been a shoulder to cry on and never the face to sit on! Well, my new best friend, after reading your e-book, my whole world changed. I've always been a little cocky, and humor comes naturally to me. Let's face it, cocky + funny = Smart Ass, more or less. My concern was getting punched in the head. But as it turns out, the women who get what I'm doing, are the ones I'm attracted to. If I brought to my home every woman that has given me her number, I would have time for little else.
I tried to make this one paragraph. Sorry, can't do it. After realizing that most women love a bad boy, I became one, saying and doing things I would never say or do before. IT REALLY WORKS! I have no questions for you, Dave. I just want to tell the readers of your newsletter to get your e-book, videos, audios, whatever, and then practice.
Thanks, David.
c.
Anchorage, AK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email.
I have to say something that's probably not very politically correct... but here goes...
I've done a few seminars around the USA over the past two years.
Each one has been an experience...
And at each one something VERY interesting happens.
When we break for lunch or break at the end of the day, I always have guys come up and talk to me.
Sometimes one of the guys who comes up to talk to me has an obvious "physical challenge" of some type or another... and it's obvious enough that I mentally think to myself "OK, he's going to ask me how to overcome his challenge with women".
And guess what?
MOST of the time, this isn't true at all.
In fact, I would say that most of the guys who have come up to talk to me who have "obvious" physical challenges say things like "I'm already successful with women... but I have this one question".
It has blown my mind.
My own realization is that the reality of women being attracted to the INNER MAN is even MORE TRUE than even I thought.
Thanks for your email, and good work.
QUESTION
I happen to get two best female friends. How do I choose one?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Pick the one with the most money.
SUCCESS STORY
Hi David,
I am 50, look good and always got the women I wanted.... but was always scared sh**less when I wanted to approach a woman I see and wanted to meet, but didn't know how to approach her. Since I apply your ideas though my fear is gone. It works like magic.
Till now I am not telling you anything new. But listen what happened a short while ago. A friend of mine has this daughter who I have known for years. She is a lesbian (40), so of course we have just been friends. We live far apart now and she asked me if she could stay with me while on vacation and bring her 22 year young nubile girlfriend. I agreed and they arrive a month later. This girlfriend turns out to be a goddess. So I remember your lessons and I totally bust this girls' balls (Is that the right expression? Sounds weird. English is not my native tongue). For some reason, although she is lesbian, I notice that she wants me to find her attractive. But I tell her (her friend is there too) that she is too young for me, I don't like blonds, bla bla bla. I am calm and use a subtle smile when I deliver the messages. She goes nuts and becomes more and more aggressive, because normally guys are all over her. Logical, because she is gorgeous. But I keep ignoring her and give a lot of attention to her girlfriend. I treat her like a little girl, who is not really seen by me as an adult. (Of course I want to bed her, but I don't want to get into a fight with the other, who is really a good friend of mine. So I dismiss the possibility altogether.)nThen she comes to me (after a few days) saying that she never did it with a guy, but that I am the chosen one to experience that 'penetration - thing ' that she misses in the sex with her girlfriend. (I kid you not! ) Her girlfriend is there when she tells me this and her girlfriend admits that she is also curious and that they discussed this the night before and want to give me a menage-a-trois.
The rest is history.
By the way, I use that line a lot now ('that they are too young for me') with younger women. They go crazy. And the older the are, the better it works. I even tell 'girls' of 30 this and then they seem to need to show how 'adult' they are, also in the bedroom.
Thanks again for your ideas. It is great stuff. It even works on lesbians!
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I can't type.
I am sitting in a reverent pose, head bowed to you.
I think I can speak for all fellow men when I say:
"You suck, and all men wish they were you."
Powerful male energy has that effect... and now you have seen it first hand.
QUESTION
David,
I loved your book. And I really think that the advice of "the more women you talk to the better at it you will be" is worth the price of the book alone. I have one dilemma. My local mall where I live is "the" place where all the women go, but after years of rejection or faint politeness at best by doing exactly that over the years, I am so defeated, I cant bring myself to walk over cold to a female in that mall anymore. I am 44 years old and after getting the cold shoulder for over 20 Years wherever I go, particularly in malls, its hard to believe I can get any other kind of result other than making an ass out of myself. What repulsive vibes I must be giving off! I am a so-so looking guy, 5'9 170 lbs in decent shape and I approach women from 19-38 and I cant seem to get positive reactions. And I dont talk like a truck driver either. I am college educated. Yes I am scared shitless upon approach till they talk to me, but once they open up, I am so relaxed and funny (not cocky though) you'd think I was Johnny Carson's son.
Anyway, how do I get my confidence back at approaching women in malls? I sometimes walk into a dept store and go to the mens section hoping to see a lady buying something for a relative that i can ask advice. Or I may go to the ladies section and compliment her on something she is thinking of getting. Or, I flirt with the cashier, or one of the sales girls. Sometimes I will even try the passive approach and sit on a bench and let someone come sit down on the bench next to me and at least give me a look.! Never works. Not in 20 yrs. I could wait years and Its like I am the invisible man. Rarely is anyone rude, just apathetic. This has been happening for over 20 yrs. Literally! Ive even put on a suit and tie so they think I work in the mall and that doesnt work. And no, my hair Isnt messy, I have no nose hairs showing, I bathe daily, etc. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! By the way, I get the same results no matter where I approach a women. Ive even tried the personals for 6 yrs and have emailed over 1000 women and my pic makes me look 5x better than I look in person and still.......nothing! Also, I am a white guy and most of the women in the mall are of color, so should I be using a special strategy or something? What to do?
M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, remember the advice I gave to the guy earlier, where I told him to bring a pen and paper into the bathroom?
I think you need to call him... maybe the two of you can go into his bathroom together... and conserve paper.
Let me get this straight...
Sometimes you put on a suit and tie, then go to the mall... hoping that a girl will come sit next to you on a bench... and she'll think that you WORK there?
And you think this is going to work magic for you?
We need to talk.
First of all, you're whining like a little girl.
Second, you're committing the sin of using only half of the Cocky & Funny formula. In other words, you probably sound like a DORK to women.
Third, you need to go and make friends with some guys who are GREAT with women, and WATCH them interact with women in person.
Look, if you're not going to use the materials the way they're intended to be used, why are you complaining?
Instead of putting on a suit, just bang your head against the wall like twenty times a day...
It will save you a trip to the mall...
Here...
The formula goes like this:
COCKY + FUNNY.
COCKY + COMEDY.
You need to use ARROGANT HUMOR.
Bust balls.
Tease with sarcasm.
Create some sexual TENSION.
You're not a clown, so quit acting like one.
Read my book again, and try the materials the way I've presented them to you...
SUCCESS STORY
Dave,
This is for all those people who don't believe your techniques work in a relationship. I'm 43, slightly overweight, false teeth, don't make a lot of money and in the middle of a divorce (my second) from a plain looking woman (I thought she'd appreciate me more) who didn't want a "nice guy" (WUSS) and took advantage of my "approval seeking". After I filed for divorce, I started going on-line looking for new prospects, sticking to my own age group, using a "nice guy" profile, "WUSS" letters to anyone remotely decent, and "WUSS" responses to any replies I got. I'm naturally witty with quick repartee (sexual innuendo and busting are instinctive to me, but never when I'm in a relationship), but I kept that out because I was afraid of offending and scaring off any potential females. They usually didn't write more than two times before disappearing. Your book and e-mails changed all that.
After buying your book, I took C&F on-line, and it worked so well in my own age group, that I tried it on a few younger types. I got quite a few good responses but kept screwing up by reverting to "WUSS". I finally met this one girl, 22 with good looking picture, and decided to keep the C&F going and see what happened. After a while, I said I was going to a movie on a particular date, and if she wanted to she could come along. And, I didn't stop busting on her all night, figuring to just enjoy myself because we'd never be more than friends. She was laughing constantly, and at herself. She was the nervous one, and obviously attracted. But I played hard to get. I turned all her advances back at her C&F, until she practically raped me one night. She had plenty of boyfriends before me, but they never got anywhere because of their WUSS behavior, like trying to "buy" her, or proposing after the second date (one really did). Until that night I used to call her my "virgin sex maniac" (she was), because of how passionate she was, and she loved the nickname. Now I just call her a sex maniac. We've been together 9 months now, and SHE proposed two weeks ago for after my divorce is final (it's a long bitter one). I made her wait almost a week before accepting. And, I still bust on her constantly, but always jokingly (C&F) There's some "WUSS" behavior, like love poems, and going clothes shopping with her. But those are things I want to do, not me seeking approval (another change), and she knows that. I'm not looking for anyone else, because I'm truly happy where I'm at, instead of scared like I was in ALL my previous relationships. Your material is what got me here, and it's obvious that it's what will keep this soon to be marriage from ever becoming boring.
Thanks,
R.O.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
All I can say is that I saw the picture, and your girl is a babe. No question.
You're the man.
By the way, as you know, one of my very favorite places to use and LEARN how to use Cocky Comedy is ONLINE.
Chat is great.
It gives you time to FORMULATE great lines and responses.
It's the ultimate "simulator".
And the great part is that there are literally millions and millions of REAL WOMEN online who are willing to "simulate" at any hour of the day.
Good luck with the Virgin Sex Maniac.
And thanks for the email.
QUESTION
Dave,
I bought you e-book and must admit it is worth the price plus its weight in gold. As I read it I kept saying to myself, "Yeah, I already know that. Hey, why is this guy telling our secrets?" Over 20 years ago, I did the same thing you did... I learned from some really good mentors, I tried things and found out what worked and what did not, and most importantly I learned to maintain that "NEXT!" attitude. Oh, I am not going to ask for a refund. No way! Your book is the best refresher course I've seen. When I consider wussing, I just re-read it and... Presto!... an instant cure. Thanks! One thing that always seems to get attention is a playful look that says "I just had a great idea!"... Pop Rocks come to mind! On a date I bought some while we were sitting and chatting. As they started to pop in my mouth, I just raised my eyebrows looking at her and smiled with a devilish twinkle in my eye, and put the rest of the package in my pocket. Then I winked at her and said, "For later." Of course, how far this is taken depends on familiarity. In this case, she was anticipating "trying" Pop Rocks for the rest of the evening, but I never mentioned them again.
I've been to many different countries, and the general approach you describe has worked in all of them. It is not a woman's cultural training, but something more primitive that cocky and funny appeals to in them. I think it subconsciously says to them that this man is certain he can take care of them... he is not worried, but is so sure of his abilities that he can actually have fun. I know what you teach works in Europe, in the Orient, in Latin America and in North America. I could give several examples, but here is one from the Orient... A beautiful woman met me for coffee. She rather quickly told me that other men always told her how beautiful she was and suggested that I do the same. I replied with, "Well,... (pause)... they are trying to get laid. And you can't believe everything a guy tells you when he's trying to get laid.... (pause)... Of course you're attractive. You're having coffee with me, aren't you?" By the way, she was late, so I handed her the bill after a delightful conversation about culture, customs and local history. She looked shocked and I laughed and said (with a smile), "I'll pay it. But if you are late next time, don't expect me to be so nice." She would tell me that the things I said would make her angry, but she just could got bored with the guys who were telling her how beautiful she was all the time. Guess whom she called frequently to see if we could go out? Also, she was never late for another date. We won't go into who got laid and who did not. =)
Dave, there is a question I have for you. At this time in my life I am enjoying being single again. Sure, if I met a woman who made me feel that the better part of me was missing when she was not there, I would be delighted to settle down. However, I find that women frequently just assume that a relationship is serious or exclusive and get really angry when I let them know that is not the case. I've tried telling them from the beginning that I was also dating others and I get an I-don't-want-to-hear-about-it reply. I've tried explaining that for now, I am looking for anything special, but it seems that they WANT a relationship, even when they SAY they just want to have fun and date as friends. How do you recommend handling this situation?
R.
from all over, but currently living in LA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, yes.
It's taken me a long time to figure out the answer you're looking for... but I believe that I've found it.
I personally believe that the "relationship trigger" inside of a woman is tied to the amount of time you spend with her and/or talking to her on the phone.
If you want a girlfriend, talk to her and see her several times a week.
Her "relationship emotions" will kick in almost immediately.
If you want to date casually, don't talk to her more than once or twice a week, and don't see her more than about once per week.
If you do that, it will eliminate the need to "have the talk"... because there will be no talk required.
No technique is perfect, but you'll find that this one is as close as they get...
MORE COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN
Hey Dave
I love your material. I am an average looking, fun, 27 year old female. I have always hated those wimpy, clingy guys that want a relationship and to "please" me before they even get to first base. I have introduced several of my male friends to your materials and they email me volumes of dating success stories.
For all of your readers that still don't 'get it,' I wanted to share an example of what not to do. I had begun to frequent a local club and got to the point that I was comfortable going in alone. After a long day at work all I wanted was to sit and sip my drink and enjoy the music. If a C&F guy was to come along then I was open to conversation. What I got instead was the loser guy that goes from table to table asking women to dance or just make idle chit chat. I politely tell him that I had a long day and I just want to sip my drink. Instead of taking the hint he slides in closer to me, puts both elbows up on the bar and asks what made it a long day. I told him as nicely as I could that I wasn't in the mood for chit chat. He looked like a wounded puppy and sauntered off. Exactly one week later I was at the same place with some friends. Sitting one dance out, the same guy walks up to me with a killer opening line, "You look bored." He doesn't get it when I tell him that I am not going to tell him my name AGAIN, he must have enjoyed some liquid confidence because this time he was touching my shoulder and getting right in my face. It took telling him that I was there with someone to get him to go away.
Bottom line, watch the creep factor. If practicing C&F then this shouldn't be a problem.
Thanks Dave, by improving the dating lives of men everywhere you are improving the dating lives of woman as well.
S. in Seattle
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, nice.
I wrote a newsletter recently that mentioned the emotion women feel called "The Instant Ewww".
Well, you've demonstrated yet another way that any guy can make any woman feel it within moments of meeting.
Thanks for the story...
GUYS! Take note... don't do this kind of stupid, Jack-Wuss stuff.
COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN
First, I should say that I enjoy reading your letters, comments, etc. I definitely think you have some interesting insight on women and dating. I would like to share some thoughts that I recurrently have while reading your newsletter.
Cocky and Funny doesn't just work on women. I have always used cocky and funny as a flirting technique and men love it too. I think it communicates some important things about a person. 1) I am a fun person capable of letting my hair down. 2) I am confident in myself. 3) For the person on the other end of C&F, assuming he/she responds well, it says he/she is confident enough to take the teasing and roll with it. Frankly, C&F is just fun, and people like to be with fun people.
Also, I have some reflections on the whole "nice guy" thing. When women say they want "nice" men they aren't lying or misunderstanding what they want. But, I do think that what women mean by "nice" and what men think we mean are two different things. When it comes to relationships, I don't want to be physically or emotionally harmed, cheated on, or stood up, etc. Basically, I want a partner who is reliable and trustworthy and who shows me on occasion that I am special, he cares about me, and enjoys being with me. When it comes to dating, especially first dates, men can take "nice" waaaayyy too far. Often this equates to "creepy." For instance, a guy once gave me on the second date an extremely large bouquet of exotic flowers and a pineapple (?). I would guess the bouquet cost him at least $100, if not more. CREEPY. I was already slightly creeped out by this guy because he wanted to drive one hour at 11pm the day after our first date to see me. When I said no, he practically begged. I did see him the following day which is when he presented the flowers. I sent him home an hour later and he did not get date 3. Another guy showed up on the first date with a bouquet of roses, had the waitress box up left-over iceburg lettuce for me, and told me later that he was glad he took some time off from college because otherwise he would have never met me! CREEPY. Guy did not get second date. Another guy, on the first date, was so concerned about being chivalrous that he would run ahead of me to reach doors before me and open them for me. He was so concerned about pleasing me that he would not assist in making decisions about plans for the date. I ended the date as soon as possible. These are extremes, but other things include calling constantly and demanding lots of time from me right away. All of these things come down to trying TOO hard which communicate to me, not niceness, but a level of desperation and neediness that makes me worry if I have a stalker on my hands. I begin to wonder 1) is this guy extremely emotionally needy and will become possessive and physically scary? 2) is there something really wrong with this guy that makes him incapable of having a relationship with women and so he is THIS desperate?
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy men doing nice things for me, but there are limits. For instance my current boyfriend (in a monogamous relationship) treated me to an expensive, beautiful dinner and flowers for my birthday. This was a special occasion for two people who really care for each other. On first dates there should be no expensive dinners, no expensive gifts, no extensive flattery, no expression of emotion that shouldn't yet be felt. I also like to contribute to the date in some way, say purchase coffee at the end of the evening. If a man is paying for everything, all the time, I begin to feel guilty, like a mooch. I don't think all women are like this, but I feel uncomfortable with too much financial and emotional flattery, especially early on.
A--Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ohhhh... this is good stuff.
More of the infamous "Instant Ewww" phenomenon...
You're really onto something here, because I have heard women say "He gives me the creeps" on MANY, MANY occasions myself.
Yea, it's worse than most guys think.
A little bit of a good thing is a good thing.
A lot of a good thing too early is the kiss of death...
Write in more often. Love it.
SUCCESS STORY
Dave,
I'm a guy who has had pretty good success with women. Im in shape, and attractive, not shy, and have always had the attitude that if she isn't interested there must be something wrong with HER. But your materials are fantastic. They have helped me have a PLAN so I have been better prepared in certain situations. And the entire C/F thing has helped me weed out the right women. In other words...some women get offended, turned off to this approach. GREAT! If you are a stuffy, too good for everyone, can't have any fun woman I dont need you OR your attitude. It helps find out who the fun ones are.
Now for how your materials helped me this past weekend. Im in a college football town and was at a huge tailgate (10,000 people) party that takes place near the stadium in front of a local hotel.
Im in the hallway of the hotel using my cell phone and see a GORGEOUS girl sitting on a bench doing the same. Heres the dialogue when she gets up to leave.
Me: "You're going to leave without even hitting on me"
Her: "You need a better line than that"
Me: "That wasn't a line"
Her: "That was a line and a bad one"
Me: "For it to be a line I would have had to be interested in you"
Her: Laughs and hits me
Her: "You're a player"
Me: "You're not very smart are you? The game already started and the players are on the field. I see...you thought you would meet some athlete down here, seduce him and hit the lottery huh?
Her: Hitting me again.
Me: Why dont you try Los Angeles. Kobe's out there
Her: I have to go into the bathroom DONT go anywhere.
This is where it gets Classic. While she is in the bathroom her friend (who I dont know is her friend and wasnt around earlier) sits down on a chair near me and we make eye contact. I think to myself that if I werent waiting on the other one I would get to know this one. We exchange a couple of smiles and thats it. I thought about getting an email, but didnt. so here is how it picked up with the original girl.
Me: Its about time. I almost didnt wait that long
Her: Stop!
Me: Plus I had that girl over there hitting on me
Her: Thats my friend I came with!
Me: Some friend, she tried to steal me when you weren't looking
Her: (to her friend) Were you hitting on him
Friend: Maybe (laughing)
Her: The love of my life and you try to steal him (sarcastic)
Me: I have to get to a private party Im here for... do you have email
Her: Only if I get yours
Me: Only if I get a kiss goodbye
Her: (quick kiss on the lips)
Me: Thats not what I meant....tell your friend you will be back in about 5 minutes
Her: (to friend) You going to be here for 5 minutes.
Me: Follow me!
The rest is private! But again....your information is priceless!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What you have written here is GENIUS LEVEL material.
I could write an entire chapter of a book on this one short story... hell, I might even do that some day.
The one thing that I will comment on here is the amazing ability you've demonstrated of serving the ball back over the net EVERY TIME she tried to be a stuck-up, bratty girl.
Most guys would have thrown in the towel at the very first "You need a better line than that".
As soon as a woman says something like that to most guys, the guy crumbles... he falters... he loses his composure... and he's DONE.
In that moment when he loses his balance, she instantly and unconsciously has that gut-level "Wuss" response... and the door SLAMS shut.
Most guys don't realize that if you can "keep the ball in play", you can turn a situation like this from "bad" to "WAAAAYYY GOOD" in a matter of a few SECONDS.
I was talking to a good friend of mine recently, and we were talking about starting conversations with women.
We were talking about that moment when you first start using Cocky Comedy with a woman... and she says "You're kind of full of yourself... what makes you think you're so cool?"... as if she's put off by your attitude...
And my friend looks at me, shakes his head, smirks, and says "Yea, you own her at that point".
Now, what did he mean?
How is it possible that if you've apparently acted too cocky... and turned a woman off... that you could "own her"?
Well, it's true.
I was once joking with a friend... sometimes you'll meet a girl... and you'll bust her balls and tease her so much that she starts to get agitated... and all of a sudden she snaps into a mode of:
"I don't know what it is that makes you think you're god's gift... but I need to make out with you to find out!"
LOL... it's funny.
Now, like I mentioned before, this is more advanced stuff.
You need to have a good feel for chemistry and sexual tension before you really try these types of moves with women you don't know.
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