WHAT I'M REFERRING TO IS ALL OF THE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE THAT'S AVAILABLE TODAY. TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL CAN MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. IF YOU'RE TRYING TO USE THIS INFORMATION FOR MEETING AND ATTRACTING WOMEN, YOU MAY BE DOING YOURSELF MORE HARM THAN GOOD. JUST BECAUSE AN ARTICLE IS ABOUT RELATING TO WOMEN, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT WILL BE USEFUL TO YOU.
YOU NEED TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ADVICE FOR ATTRACTING WOMEN. THE TWO ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND THEY DON'T MIX VERY WELL.
ADVICE ON IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T WORK IF YOU'RE USING IT TO ATTRACT WOMEN. THIS IS BECAUSE THE WOMAN THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO ATTRACT IS A STRANGER. YOU HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU FROM ADAM.
YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SING A LOVE BALLAD TO A TOTAL STRANGER OR SHOWER HER WITH LOTS OF LOVE NOTES AND CHOCOLATES. THE LOVE BALLAD THING MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK IF YOU'RE DOING IT AS A JOKE BUT IF YOU'RE SERIOUSLY PROFESSING LOVE, THE REACTION YOU GET FROM HER WON'T BE THE ONE THAT YOU WANT. THIS IS OBVIOUS TO MOST PEOPLE BUT THERE'S OTHER ADVICE THAT SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE BUT STILL WON'T WORK AT ATTRACTING WOMEN.
COMPLIMENTS ARE A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS. SOME COMPLIMENTS ARE GREAT CONVERSATION STARTERS. IF SHE HAS SOMETHING ON HER PERSON THAT YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT, THEN BY ALL MEANS COMPLIMENT HER ABOUT IT AND FOLLOW IT UP WITH WHAT YOU KNOW. IF YOU COMPLIMENT HER ON HER STUNNING BEAUTY AND GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS, YOU WILL KILL YOUR CHANCES AT EVER ATTRACTING HER.
IF SHE REALLY IS STUNNING, THEN SHE'S PROBABLY BEEN COMPLIMENTED ABOUT IT BY PLENTY OF MEN ALREADY. THE COMPLIMENT MIGHT ANNOY HER OR IT MIGHT BOOST HER EGO. IN EITHER CASE, SHE WON'T BE DRAWN TO YOU AS THE MAN OF HER DREAMS. THIS IS BECAUSE YOU'VE JUST SHOWN THAT YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER GUYS THAT HAVE COMPLIMENTED HER. SO NOW YOU'RE JUST PART OF THE CROWD.
WORST OF ALL, YOU HAVE DEFERRED HIGHER STATUS TO HER. BY MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT HER LOOKS, YOU'VE JUST TOLD HER THAT YOU'RE JUST AN UNDESERVING SCHMUCK.
IF SHE'S CONFIDENT AND SMART BUT NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING, THEN SHE'LL SEE YOUR FLATTERY AS PHONEY MANIPULATION.
OTHER ADVICE THAT WORKS FOR A SPOUSE OR GIRLFRIEND BUT DOESN'T WORK FOR ATTRACTING GIRLS IS BEING VERY THOUGHTFUL AND NICE. THESE QUALITIES CAN STRENGTHEN A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE BUT THEY WON'T TRIGGER THE ATTRACTION OF A WOMAN THAT YOU DON'T KNOW.
MOST GUYS THAT AREN'T GOOD AT ATTRACTION RESORT TO ACTING VERY NICE AND THOUGHTFUL. THIS WORKS IF YOU WANT TO BE LIKED BY YOUR FRIENDS. BUT IT WON'T MAKE YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE TO HER. IT WILL JUST MAKE YOU HER FRIEND.
WHY DOESN'T 'NICE' WORK? LIKE I MENTIONED BEFORE IT'S A STRATEGY FOR MAKING A FRIEND NOT FOR FINDING A LOVER. OBVIOUSLY THE TWO ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PROPOSITIONS.
A FRIEND IS A PERSON YOU CAN BE RELAXED AROUND AND KILL TIME WITH. A LOVER IS A MATE. THE DEMANDS AND REWARDS OF HAVING A MATE ARE MUCH GREATER. BECAUSE MORE IS AT STAKE, THE SELECTION PROCESS FOR A MATE IS MORE DEMANDING THAN THAT OF A FRIEND.
WHAT ARE THESE EXTRA DEMANDS? SEX APPEAL IS ONE. THERE ARE A NUMBER OF MALE TRAITS THAT WOMEN ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO. A WOMAN ALSO EXPECTS A MAN TO BRING EXCITEMENT INTO HER LIFE.
BEING OVERLY NICE MEANS THAT YOU WON'T BE MUCH OF A CHALLENGE FOR HER. RIGHT FROM THE GET-GO YOU'RE TELLING HER THAT THERE'S NO UNCERTAINTY WITH GETTING YOU. YOU'RE EASY. ANYTHING THAT'S EASY OR FREE TO GET HAS NO VALUE.
