I've been in a long distance relationship with my current boyfriend for about 11 months. The first 4 were when he was studying abroad, and the rest have been an hour away, which we'd make up for by traveling every weekend and calling often. Recently, we've gotten to a point where we've been discussing the future, and I made it clear to him that I'd like for us to be in the same city this summer to test out our relationship for the long haul. The only problem is that he's so dedicated to his career that he's been looking for work in other areas, and doesn't think he'd find any resume building jobs in my small city. I already have two jobs here, both of our families live here (which means free room + board for him, considering he's poor from college), and he currently doesn't have anything else lined up. I mentioned that he could get a full time job here doing practically anything, and studying his passion on the side / pursuing a serious relationship with me. If things work out, then I told him I'd pretty much go anywhere with him after I graduate.
His response: we're not married and he shouldn't have to make a decision like staying in town an extra summer after he graduates JUST for me. Sure, he MIGHT find good temporary work here, but if he doesn't he'll go off and we'll just have prolonged the inevitable by not ending it now. I want him to commit to staying regardless of the type of work he finds where I am because so far we are perfect for each other and have no reason to break up. The thing is, I cannot continue this relationship without a commitment on this summer because it's a very time consuming relationship and should only be pursued if there's at least a small hope that we'll be in the same place at the same time. IT CAN HAPPEN considering most people take breaks after college. He could be applying for grad school, which is something he wants to do! Anything!
So, I told him that this summer is pretty much the only time we'll have to be a real couple, and now we're discussing breaking up over this. Is there ANYTHING I can do or say to change his mind? Or does it just come down to me having to accept the fact that his career is more important to me? I'm technically the one that would be ending things, but I reallllllllllyyyyy don't want to, but I also don't want to be in a long distance relationship forever. I'm not going to run off with some guy who won't even stay here for a month or two.
I'll include more information if necessary. I really would like some advice as this just happened and I'm stuck. We have to finish our conversation tomorrow. I love this guy more than anything. Is he just being a guy who also loves me back, but has a bad way of showing it? Should I not be with a guy that cares more about his career than anything else? I've never been in this situation.
Thanks!
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