That said, it doesn't alter the fact that the character was wrong in his approach to the interpersonal, which sprang to mind with Oestrebunny's post on kissing at the office party and the comment by one of her commenters:
I love kissing but there are so many bad kissers out there!
Meaning that the commenter goes around with her slavering chops, inviting any good looking man in to be tasted and spat out if found wanting. I once had the experience of one of those and the strange thing is I have two photos of her on my computer because she is quite well known.
It was definitely just curiosity on both our parts and it was awful. For a start she was wet and full on, the vibe was token resistance then what she really wanted - to consume. It was like an alcoholic's approach to alcohol or a coffeeholic's approach to coffee. She was definitely not in it for me.
Interesting that Oestrebunny's commenter went on:
I think a good kiss is one where you stop breathing!
Well there are a number of reasons you stop breathing and one is that you're being asphyxiated. Once was in the back of a taxi for me and she was crushing me against the back seat and not letting me come up for air. I don't mind being pinned to a seat by a girl's thighs but it's nice to gasp a couple of breaths now and then.
The other time was the one with the "wet consumer" already mentioned, tongue straight to the back of the throat and aggressive. Uggggh! And the whole raison d'etre for that kiss was wrong. Let me explain via my reply to Oestrebunny's commenter:
No wonder you think there are so many bad kissers. A kiss from someone you're not in a love relationship with is never as good - you can't hide the satyric insincerity behind the kiss because you're not giving yourself.
A great kiss is always the Romeo and Juliet type where two people have eyes only for each other.
All other kisses are either mechanical, from long experience or anxiously speculative. Neither of these types is ultimately satisfying.
I'd rather one kiss from a girl who loves me than all the ones I get for all the reasons they do it.
The excitement in the "taking of" a fantastic girl and peeling away her defences one by one is infinitely preferable to a "drop the gear, nibble the ear and into it" - that's a total turn off when it's just the aperitif.
The very best kiss is the forbidden kiss, the one you've worked for so long to achieve, the one you've forced onto her by degrees [though naturally it's her agenda] and the more intelligent and the more modest the girl, the better.
This is entirely different to "the more innocent she is". Where's the pleasure in taking candy from a baby? The real buzz is when she's worldly and you've got no chance at all, not being tall and not being handsome. And yet you get there in the end. When she finally lets you in, it's a huge buzz - the best there is.
And that's where the charismatic satyr stops his development as a person. He's so taken with the conquering, with the thrill of the chase, that he's not willing to step up to the next, more satisfying phase - getting completely inside the woman and she inside him. It's not consuming one another, it's joining auras and saying inside the soul: "She's all I want".
And most importantly for the other - it's setting aside all the other possibilities he or she both have and this is the ultimate compliment. Where's the compliment in knowing she's just going to move onto the next one after you?
It recognizes all the faults, all the difficulties and it's ultimately forgiving and tolerant, something I'm currently not and it's clear I need to find such a woman. It matters not a damn if she's the most ravishing beauty or has the technique down pat. Better she doesn't.
It matters that your eyes are for her in the sense of "let's work hard on this and try to make it a goer". You can still have light-hearted laughs with all the other girls but there's only one who really satisfies you now.
This satisfaction has little to do with technique, which Oestrebunny's commenter seems so consumed by. It's to do with one-on-one, dancing a complex dance of growing love because once the initial fire passes, real love has to replace it.
It has to do with maturity, trust, knowing the footstep of the other, knowing the little things and building up and supporting the other - this is the true carnal knowledge.
And always working on it, always dreaming up new ways to make her happy. The day that stops is the day it's over.
Finally, it's about losing Self, fusing it with the other to a great degree - true love does not demand total devotion.
So you can keep your shallow, beauty-based, Cosmo style sex-by-numbers approach to love. Give me a real woman any time over a promiscuous, pleasure model T-213 robot.
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